Vis Arcana
by Rinjou
Summary: "Send me back! Send me back to my world!" Hitomi's wish had been fulfilled and everything she went through on Gaea had become a dream. After waking up in her old school's infirmary, she knew exactly what would happen in the next few hours, but not once again. She never left Earth that evening—and yet, the tarot cards had shown her the long and distant separation…
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter version: 2.0 [beta-read by Lera/Blue Funk, thank you so much for your work on this!]**

 **VIS ARCANA**

 _by Rinjou_

Do you ever wonder where all the trains you were late to ended? Who could you have met if you took them, or if you simply looked to the other side of the road?  
Your soulmate might have just passed by. Sometimes all it takes is a little push, a small stumble, a few words. The butterfly effect kicks in.  
You took or missed that chance; either way, you will never have it again. Some attribute it to a deity, others call it destiny.  
But if your wish is strong enough…

'''

 _SPREAD I_

 _ **Si vis pacem, para bellum**_

"If you wish for peace, prepare for war." (Vegetius)

'''

 _Chapter 1_

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was aware that she was mindlessly stalling, but her gaze was somehow pulled towards the rocky bay of Kamakura. She knew she had been staring at it for a while already, but she was unable to tear her eyes away. It was foolish, really, because how many times had she looked at it on her school commute?

Wave after wave breaking viciously against the sharp stones, and yet it filled her mind with a strange calm and familiarity. Perhaps that was it. It felt good to be back home and it was the happiest she'd feltin a long time. Things were about to change… probably forever.

Her boyfriend and their third companion were currently leading an animated dialogue above the pile of backpacks and suitcases, but it was all just background noise to her. She caught herself stretching her back, inhaling the scent of summer, filling her lungs, her veins, her nerve endings with the carelessness and the almost palpable promise of adventure.

The small Kamakura Koukou Mae tram station was bustling with energy. Salarymen, students, Japanese and foreign tourists, and families with children. Everyone following their own purpose, yet meeting at this place this wonderful morning.

Her good impression lasted but for another few minutes. Yes, everything was perfect, except…

"Yukari. The tram will be here soon. We should get to the platform," Susumu said, interrupting, yet at the same time almost reading her thoughts.

"Just a minute. We agreed to meet here. I'm sure she'll show up any moment now."

 _This is so usual._ How many times did she wait for her at this very same place on their way to school? She honestly expected that girl to show up any second now, or she'd make her regret it personally, in a very slow and agonizing way. She still ignored the chatter of the two young men, as well as the pre-recorded voice announcing the forthcoming arrival, and focused on the direction her friend should have been coming from. _C'mon Kanzaki, we have a train to catch. Hope you didn't oversleep...no,_ _ **you**_ _should hope you didn't. Or that you haven't changed your mind at the last minute._

The morning sun was already beating mercilessly at them. Yukari's mood got more and more sour. Why did they even have to take the tram? There was no real need, they could have taken a taxi to the station or rented a car to get to Tokyo and boarded the bullet train comfortably. Yeah, right, but then Susumu had insisted showing Ryuuji the Enoden, the famous Kamakura electric railway. So for half an hour of the 'fun tram ride', they had had to walk here, dragging their entire luggage behind them like fools.

And _she_ apparently did not. Not on time, at least. Despite living, what, ten minutes away? _God, how does the girl even survive?_

"Just call her," Susumu said.

"I already wrote her a message," she grumbled in reply as she reached for her latest stylish cell with the numerous cute and blingy charm straps.

"She is not picking up. I can't believe this. We agreed to meet here."

"That's all fine but this is Kanzaki. She will probably just jump on the leaving tram, wouldn't be the first time. Let's go."

Yukari nodded finally, still deep in thought even as her eyes leaving the horizon. It was not simply chronic lateness or something to laugh off. What was wrong with her friend? Hitomi used to be so cheerful, so motivated. She had wanted to become a track star like Susumu. But she just stopped talking about it at some point. She was doing okay in the college as far as she knew, something that would cause stress for any student. She just seemed… tired. Were the classes too difficult to handle? Was she battling something internally? They should talk more seriously. But she somehow felt a hard glass pane in their recent conversations. A border which Hitomi would not cross when talking about herself.

It felt wrong. It felt like their friendship wasn't as close anymore. Deep down, Yukari worried that with time, it would become just a habit, just a polite pretense. Not because they weren't good friends like this. But they used to be more than that. She used to feel she could talk about anything with Hitomi. They had their own almost-adult lives now, but she refused to admit their friendship would eventually not be as deep as it once was.

There was also one other thing. She knew Hitomi had liked her fiancée once. Was it more serious than Yukari had anticipated? Ever since then… ever since that time, Hitomi hadn't been the same. True, she seemed more mature, wiser for her age all of a sudden. "I know," she had told Yukari simply before Susumu even officially asked her out. "You are free to have him. Am I off my dessert duty now?"

 _No hard feelings._

Yukari had believed her then, but why? The Hitomi she knew since middle school used to be different. Childish and naïve, concerned about others, but often oblivious to their own struggles. Selfish at times. What made her change so much? And why was she not getting her own happiness?

Yukari knew her friend deserved it more than anyone. And it was not like she hadn't had some admirers over the years.

"It didn't work out," she always told Yukari over coffee or cake. "But I'm fine."

Then why did she seem worse? Was it difficult for her seeing Yukari and Susumu happy together? Would the trip be too hard on her? Did it hurt or offend her that she had invited Ryu? She only meant well. Maybe it was the feeling that it could be their last time together like this for a long time. She would marry Susumu and graduate soon. They had still not decided where they would live then. If they moved overseas, it would be extremely hard to meet, she knew. Her own heart ached about it, too. Hitomi was her best friend. But surely they would stay in touch even that way?

Except… Hitomi was alone.

Yukari would feel better if she left her in the company of some other close friends, in the arms of a boyfriend. Even better, the boyfriend could be from the country where she was probably going to move to later. Staying close would certainly become a lot more plausible...

That made her pause. Was this what she was trying to do with Susumu's friend? Was she really that manipulative? Her thoughts were going down an unpleasant road; it was quite unlike her to worry so much. She just wanted Hitomi on this trip, so they could have the time to talk about things like that. But if Hitomi was not going to come, then she would just have to sit her down later. It just seemed like a waste. And Ryu was not just handsome; he was a nice and interesting guy. It was not like she would ever let someone less than worthy near her _Mi-chan_.

Luckily, her boyfriend was once again proven right. A text notification beeped not too long after they boarded the tram and sat down.

' _I'm very sorry Yukari, I couldn't make it…'_

Yukari felt her displeasure spike until she scrolled down to reveal the latter part of the message:

' _Meet you at the Central.'_

 _Well, at least she's coming._ Yukari was going to give her a piece of her mind about this later, though. _Unbelievable. Where is her focus? How could she oversleep on a day like this?!_ She fussed internally, even as she felt the warm relief spill in her gut.

They were already on the platform for the Tokyo train when she spotted a girl that fit the description of her friend on the other side of the tracks, a bit further up from them. The girl was leaning over with her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. She must have run all the way here and used the illegal shortcut up the slope behind the station and past the fence. _Geez,_ Yukari thought. _Way to make a first impression on a guy…_

"Hitomi—!" she called out. The girl's face split into a smile. She waved back enthusiastically, looked left and right, and started running to cross the railroad tracks.

She had to, as their train was already approaching on the horizon. Surely, it broke a regulation or two, but nobody stopped to think about it twice. She saw the local kids doing it quite a few times.

Yukari whistled inwardly as she scrutinized her friend. _She actually listened to me._ The girl sported a pair of jean shorts; not obscenely short, but enough to show off her long runners' legs. A simple white tank-top was paired with a pastel-colored shirt, which she wore with rolled up sleeves and unbuttoned. The reddish pendant still swung in front of her chest, unchanged from their high-school days. Her look, combined with her short honey-colored hair and glowing face (Yukari realized she hadn't seen the girl this animated in years), gave her a very fresh, youthful image. _Yeah boy, you better watch,_ she thought impishly as Ryuuji straightened himself, slowly turning to look at their new companion.

It was then the dreamy scene fell apart. Nobody had doubted that the athletic girl would cross the stretch of blocks, rails, and pebbles and climb up the platform in a second. Not Yukari and her companions,, not the bleary-eyed railway employee who approached to dispatch the arriving train, nor any other random onlooker on the platform and obviously, not even the girl herself. Yet, without any warning, she folded down on the tracks, as if struck by a lightning. Did she just trip? No, she was not moving. She was staring into emptiness as if in trance.

Yukari was the first to scream. "Hitomi… move! _Move_ , dammit!" But the girl just sat back on her knees, her eyes blank. Other people started to panic, too. The employee and even Susumu posed as if they wanted to run and pick her up, even though she was a bit further away from them. The horns of the locomotive, which was sure to arrive within seconds, halted them right in their tracks.

It was Ryu who broke off into a run without hesitation, an unexpected would-be hero. Yukari invested all her hope into him. He sprinted up the platform and threw himself to his knees just above Hitomi, reaching out his hand to her. Yukari saw the girl just look at it numbly first, then lift her hand, waver, and place it over her chest instead.

Yukari unconsciously began to move, but Susumu grabbed her back against his chest firmly. The dispatcher started to whistle and signal wildly with the red flag. The approaching machine blared its now horribly close and loud horns.

She didn't know what was worse. That, or the screeching of the train's emergency brakes... Yukari's worst nightmare was playing out right before her watering eyes. Her friend, her best friend, someone she loved dearly was going to be hit, and she could not think of what it would do to her fragile human body. There was nothing she could do about it, there was nothing that could prevent it anymore...

She barely registered Ryuuji retracting his hand and letting himself fall back numbly. Some of the bystanders started to back up, covering their eyes in terror. Yukari could not, not until the hundreds of tons of steel halted to a stop and a disturbing silence fell upon on the scene.

* * *

She never knew that she was dreaming. The scene was so filled with light, it felt like looking into the sun. It couldn't have been real. But she was completely unaware of that. She wasn't sure if the warmth came from the light or from the figure that was currently holding her. She didn't know them, even though they often appeared in her dreams. Or she knew, but just couldn't assign a face or a name to them. They were still solid and real to her, if only until she awoke. She was dreaming now though, so the logic lay abandoned... she would adopt it again once she'd open her eyes, but right now she had no doubt about the reality of what was happening.

Not that the girl was thinking about such things at all, reclining in the arms of the stranger. They were a featureless shadow, but somehow she didn't feel the need to try and get a better look at them. She had only a vague idea of their surroundings. It must have been outside judging by the air, by the sun hitting her skin, the grass tickling her limbs.

"I have been so lonely..." she heard her own voice say. _Don't leave for so long..._

The dark figure never said anything, but she knew they understood. They changed position gently and held her tight as an apology, filling her with their light and warmth. How could a shadow feel so warm? They were so close, she thought they were going to melt together. She felt loved and complete, her mind and heart at ease and... The cheery ringtone of her cell phone was the most nerve-grating piece of… sound she ever... Why, why now, when it was... She forced herself to open her eyes at last.

 _Oh, it's morning._ She stretched her arm out from under the covers to check the offending object, flipping it open in annoyance. _Ri-chan calling._ Wait, why was she being woken up by this? What had happened to the alarm?! Her eyes skipped to the corner of the screen. _Oh_. Her sleepy mind received a numbing electrical shock.

But there was no time to ponder that or anything else. With a dropping stomach, she just accepted the fact that she was running late. Again. Yukari would have her head for this. She would miss the tram - which connected to the Yokosuka line at the station, which connected to the Shinkansen in Tokyo - and ruin all of her friend's meticulous planning. Her best bet now was to try and catch the Tokyo train on their town's main station.

The call ended. She honestly did not have the guts to face her friend right now, even on the phone. The disappearing box with caller ID revealed an older message.

 _'O_ — _i, Mi-chan! What are you doing?! {emoji}  
I hope you are not thinking of backing __out_ _now!  
Anyway, just get your behind moving to the tram station,  
we're already waiting for you there! Ri {emoji}'_

The normally cheerful smiley faces in Yukari's message seemed a bit mad and aggressive, but she was sure it was just her imagination. Perhaps because she knew Yukari well enough to realize she had to be livid right then.

She briefly wondered if she should sacrifice taking a shower and run to the tram station instead. _Sorry Yukari, but I need that shower,_ she thought as she punched in a quick message to let her friend know she would be meeting them later.

Flipping the cell shut, Hitomi all but ran out from under her covers, straight for the bathroom. She put the water on scalding first, but it actually reminded her of something embarrassing… what was it again she dreamed of? Nevermind. She shook her head violently to get rid of the weird, unspecific, and feeling-only memory.

She finished the shower and proceeded to complete her morning process in record time. Thank heavens she had been packed and ready since yesterday. Her old duffel bag would no doubt look comical compared to the baggage of her friends, who were probably prepared for every situation that might arise on the trip. _Including the absolute need to play golf or_ _cook a three-course meal_ , she smirked. Well, whatever, she was used to traveling lightly.

Thinking about Yukari's advice (or more of a threat) not to dress like a middle-schooler on a field trip, she had prepared a little more of a thought-out outfit than usual the night before. It showed a bit of skin, but it looked like it was going to be a sunny day, so she didn't mind. It was still pretty simple. If Yukari or _he_ expected she would go in a tight dress or high-heels, well, tough luck, it just wasn't her. That made her pause.

Well, _he_ was a significant part of the whole ordeal. Amano's friend and roommate at his university campus, a young man named Emorey. Or Ryu, as Yukari called him. She could only imagine the face that went with the name, as Yukari forgot (or did not want to) show her a photo of him and Hitomi did not want to appear too interested to ask her to.

There was little she knew about the guy, in fact. Yukari was singing praises about him, but Hitomi was sure a bit of match-making was involved. Despite his Japanese given name, he was only a _half_ and hadn't been to Japan since he was a child—that was one of the reasons they thought making this trip was a great idea. Yukari said he was very excited to finally discover the land of his grandparents.

According to her best friend, he filled out the idea of tall, dark and handsome. _He is an athlete, like Amano… and you_ , she had to remind herself. Yukari gushed on and on about how smart, easy-going and just plain gorgeous he was. Yeah right, and she just knew him for a few weeks during her regular Amano visits to Europe. He also spoke Japanese, so there was no language barrier to be worried about. Despite that and his Japanese mother, she knew there would be differences.

Yukari had somehow conjured up the idea that he and Hitomi would be a perfect match, but this didn't need to work out at all. Even if they _did_ like each other, which was in no way guaranteed. Plus, he had been raised in an entirely different culture. His family name was English and she had actually had to search out its pronunciation and practice it a bit in secret. Perhaps she should just call him by his given name right from the start; it was a custom in the West, after all.

Ryuuji. _Written like dragon and two._

To be honest, Hitomi was a bit nervous to meet him, even if all the while, she was telling herself she was being stupid. There was no obligation for her to start anything with him. _So_ _what_ if this looked like a double date?

 _A two_ _-_ _week long double date_ , her mind cheekily supplied.

Nevermind. _If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out._

She knew she was not the greatest at this, as her love life (or lack of thereof) proved. She went out with some boys from her high school and later, college, few times, but true love seemed to be eluding her. Yet she somehow refused to settle for less. She never developed enough feelings for anyone to stay with them more than a few dates or weeks. Maybe she was being too romantic and lacked a realistic view. Maybe she just feared commitment. Or it was simply bad luck.

She had a feeling this person could be something else though. Something in her gut told her and her instincts were almost always right.

True, once she had felt like she could even predict the future using her tarot cards. It was put to use mostly for her high school classmates' love lives, but her predictions were sometimes scarily accurate. _But you didn't stop doing it just because it was scary, did you?_ Right, she stopped because… she… she was no longer as silly. She grew out of it. In fact, there was a high chance her infamous intuition could be wrong about this whole thing. This Ryuuji Emorey thing.

Anyway, this trip was not just about him. There was way more to look forward to than just some guy. Let him search for his roots while she enjoyed some traveling and quality time with her friends. She hadn't seen Amano in a year or so and she hated to admit she wasn't in touch with Yukari as much as she would have hoped, either. She was busy with her studies and Yukari objectively had even more to chew. She was studying to be a nurse, a choice which surprised Hitomi quite a bit. But their former track team manager balanced her study results, her clinic traineeship, and her long-distance relationship with ease.

Hitomi respected her a lot for that, even though they had fewer chances and time to hang out. Yukari always tried to make space for Hitomi in her schedule, but she understood that wasn't easy at all. These two weeks would be a perfect chance to refresh their bonds.

After all, Yukari would be Mrs. Amano soon. She still couldn't believe it. Two of her high-school best friends were getting married in a few weeks. And she was really happy for them. She was, but it also made her question her own life a bit. Once, she had naively believed Amano to be the love of her life. _Yes, but that was before…_ Before she realized her best friend Yukari held deeper feelings for their school's track star than she ever had.

Yukari had never told her freshman self, who was gushing on and on about Captain Amano. That's how selfless she was, beneath her confident and cheeky antics. Hitomi was glad she hadn't got between them in some way. _I spoiled enough things already._

Double checking the front door of her grandma's old house, she finally was ready to go. She only had about twenty minutes. _Ready, steady…!_ She sprinted out into the summer morning, jogging along the familiar streets, using shortcuts, hopping up and down a few stairs, jumping across the small obstacles in the way. She had almost forgotten how much she loved running.

But it wasn't just that.

She felt something brewing in the air. Something exciting. She didn't need to lay out her old tarot cards to know. There was a change coming. A hope she had been expecting for so long. Something that would pull her out of her boring and often lonely life. That was it, the last corner, across the parking lot, up the small hill and through the gap between the fence and the building…

All that was left was crossing to the other side of the tracks, because her shortcuts landed her on the opposite side, just up the slope that divided the railway from the back alley. She had to catch her breath shortly.

It was then she spotted her companions.

Yukari was fidgeting, visibly nervous. Amano was talking to her. And the second man was bent crouching near the luggage on the ground. Her friend noticed her and called her name. Hitomi waved back at her… and heard a sound in the distance that made her heart skip. Oh, no! Their train was already coming!

She had to hurry up and cross to the platform. The locomotive was already approaching, but she had to do it here and now. Otherwise, the long set of train cars would block her path and she would be stuck on the wrong side, unable to board. She jumped down on the tracks and sprinted without looking left or right. It was a bit risky but doable for someone as agile as her. It would be just a second. There were just a few railways in the way and a platform not too tall to climb on.

 _Alright._ Her eyes never left her companions, her heart beating way harder than it should, even given the previous run and the mild adrenaline of doing something hazardous that broke regulations. She imagined the railway employee glaring at her, but paid no heed.

Yukari's voice alerted the men to her presence as well. The stranger was still bowed above their luggage. He started to rise, revealing a tall figure topped with dark, fashionably cut hair. Time seemed to have slowed down…

 _No_.

As he was starting to turn, it happened. She would always have trouble remembering it or explaining it even to herself.

First, it felt like she was just going to trip. She instinctively looked down at the tracks she was currently overcoming. There was a flash of light, a ghost object under her running shoes, but it quickly disappeared behind and out of her sight in her momentum. She wasn't going to have a chance to look back at it, though. In an instant, it felt as if her head had exploded from the inside and cold claws ripped effortlessly through her body to grip at her heart. She could not move an inch and felt gravity starting to pull her paralyzed body down to the ground.

The drop felt heavy and even though she seemed to be numb to the physical pain, she _did_ feel something crack under her from the blow. She forced herself to open her tightly squeezed eyes. What she saw made her widen them in shock. The mortar panels and pebbles between the tracks were gone, replaced by glass… _No, this cannot be. This isn't real!_

But she saw it; saw a landscape beneath the translucent surface. She was peering at it from above, as if from the heart of the sky. She saw the vast plains of fragrant meadows, emerald forests, waters reflecting the bluest skies she had ever seen. It was breathtaking. It was… Another world. And it was living, breathing, spinning right under her. Beautiful and untamed. Foreign, yet eerily familiar. She saw it physically rotating, the sceneries changing at a rapid pace. Incredible mountains, valleys, oceans, and rocky plains… until it started slowing down like a table globe spun by the force of a human hand.

And it finally halted to show her… a battlefield. Even from her celestial vantage point, she knew what she would see down there. Suffering, destruction, and death. Man fighting against man, using the deathly armored giants, the most intriguing and horrifying of which carried the name of a dragon-god. _No, no… This can't be happening again._

 _NO, it NEVER happened. Get yourself together, Hitomi, this is a way straight to a mental institution, this…_ Then, through the gaps between her fingers that came to rest on her face, she noticed a deep crack right under her. Oh god, there was a whole spider web of cracks that must have appeared when her knees hit the see-through surface.

Panic started to rise into her head. She squirmed a bit, involuntarily, which resulted only in the sound of thin ice cracking on top of a frozen lake. She didn't know whether to try to stay still as possible or scurry away. More cracking and plinking. The height suddenly started to make her feel nauseous. It could have been her imagination, but she was even starting to smell the place of battle under her, the scorched remains of guymelefs, of… bile rose into her throat. A loud horn pulled her out of her illusion, a picture of reality replacing the fantastic image. Her head snapped to face it, cold sweat washing over her upon the sight.

"Don't look there!" an unfamiliar voice advised. "Look at me!" She looked up in the direction it was coming from. The man that must have been Ryuuji Emorey had his hand extended towards her from up on the platform, a look of determination on his handsome face. She was reminded of another time, another reality, another person in a similar pose. But same as before, when Amano had tried to hold her down as she was being whisked away by the blue light, it was fruitless.

She suddenly felt calm in spite of the locomotive approaching from her side, shrieking in a cacophony with other concerned and terrified cries and braking to the fullest, but still going fast enough to hit her.

"Give me your hand!" that voice directed intently.

She lifted her arm as if to do his bidding, but stopped mid-air. _I can't,_ she thought. If she would, she may drag him with her. To his death. Or…

She reached for her trusty pendant instead, a single thought filling her head… _save me_. In her mind's eye, she saw it swing and point behind her. _There is something you don't see._ She looked back and finally noticed a single white feather perched on the railway track.

No, it was on a still undamaged piece of the see-through surface. She reached for it, feeling the glass finally giving way and her bent legs straightening and kicking out in the thin air underneath, huge chunks of the transparent material floating momentarily with her. She stretched her whole body to reach the slowly descending feather among the shards.

Just as she was about to touch it, her pendant reacted, emitting a bright light. The feather evaporated in a small trail of bright bubbles, which were quickly whisked away and absorbed into a much bigger upward stream. She recognized this. Even if her stomach was up in her throat, she knew she was not free falling. She was slowly descending in an otherworldly stream of bluish light, pulled down by the gravity of an alien planet.

 _Again_.

* * *

 **Oh, my! You managed to get here! Thank you and welcome. First of all, I'm sorry for any mistakes, this story has no beta-reader, so I would be grateful to anyone who can notify me if there is something glaring that I can fix.**

 ** _EDIT: Vis Arcana has a beta-reader now, thanks to the wonderful person that is Lera (Blue Funk). I am so excited to see a better version of the story than I could ever produce on my own! And I hope the readers will appreciate that, too._**

 **You may have figured out already, but this story is a take on what would happen if Hitomi did not return to Gaea right away in episode 24, but instead, a few years later. So, not quite continuation, yet not quite an AU. In fact, I have always (and you don't want to know for how long already) wanted to write a continuation of Escaflowne (the series). Then this idea happened several years ago and it just would not let go. But hey, it's not such a wild and crazy thing when it comes to this series; the "fateful day" in Hitomi's life already had two versions, why not a third? Except this time, it went differently, or better yet, it went as you would normally expect. No visions, no dragons in any form, pillars of light, and so on. Which eventually convinced (almost) adult Hitomi that her adventure was indeed "just a dream". The causes and consequences of this will be revealed later, of course.**

 **So basically, this is a rewrite of the ending. Events which happened in the last two episodes may not have happened (yet) in this universe, but be prepared for some parallels. Including to those events that stayed in place, or maybe even to the movie (which I enjoyed, too). Because I like me some subtle references, foreshadowing and stuff like that.**

 **In case all of this rambling was not enough, this story has a tumblog where I have some relevant notes, including a memory refresh on what did and did not happen when it comes to this fic (for my own as well as potential readers' needs). The blog name is simply "visarcana" (link is available through my profile).**

 **Chapter notes:**

I rewrote this chapter three times because of the system of Kamakura public transport. Yeah, I wish I was joking. The reason is that the famed Kamakura station featured in the anime is for the tram (or electric train). Meaning, you can use it only to get around the town. At first, I wanted to ignore that and have the whole scene happen there with the train to Tokyo, but in the end, I could not. I have no great confidence in my writing skills, but dang, this better be well-researched.

Yukari calls Amano by his first name, which is Susumu. Hitomi sticks to the surname out of habit ("Amano-senpai"), and also because he left Japan before they could have become closer friends. It may seem a bit cold for us to see her still calling him by his surname, but it's normal. I imagine she would call him "Amano-san" or "Amano-kun" by now. Same with Ryu, she would say "Emorey-san" which would not sound as stiff as "Mr. Emorey" or something. I was really struggling to portray some of the relationships without giving in to the inner weeaboo and adding the honorifics all over (which can read pretty ridiculous, I admit).

Hitomi and Yukari sometimes use pet names for each other based on the last syllable of their names (Ri-chan and Mi-chan). If you are a bit familiar with Japanese, I imagine them pronouncing them as 'Micchan' and 'Ricchan' but did not want to create more confusion.

Yes, Hitomi lives alone in her grandmother's old house. More on that later.

' _Half'_ is an actual term in Japanese for someone with only one Japanese parent.

This story takes place around the year 2000 – 2002 so please bear that in mind when imagining the technology, mobile phones etc. Hitomi cannot simply stalk Ryu on social networks to see his photo.

 **Disclaimer:**

The Vision of Escaflowne does not belong to me. I will not repeat this anymore until something changes about the fact (haha).

 _ **See you on Gaea next time (I hope)?**_

 _~Rin_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter version: 2.0 [big thanks to my beta, Lera/Blue Funk!]**

 _Chapter 2_

His eyes widened in recognition as the bright stream of blue light pierced the cool air like a thrown spear. Everyone in the combat zone near him paused for a moment, not knowing what to expect from this foreign phenomenon. Some decided to use this fleeting moment to try and catch their opponent unaware. Others were inching cautiously towards the spot it hit the ground on, not too far a distance from the main cluster of the fighting units.

The revered knight of the Asturian Order of Heaven knew he needed to be the first one there if he wanted to secure the safety of the interplanetary traveler, who he could only hope was _her_. The heavy steps of his Scherazade echoed in his head as he made haste to the point of landing.

He tried to wrap his head around it. It looked like someone came again, from that far-away place. He knew of two such instances and both meant trouble for the men of his family.

At this moment, even more than the loss of his father, the wordless departure of the young woman Allen Schezar had once thought he loved resonated in his mind. She was, laughably enough, the one he got the closest to marrying.

Not that he ever lacked the attention of interesting women—or failed to return it. But she had been something else. A child of innocent eyes and enigmatic powers. Her form graceful already, yet somewhat clumsy. Like her attempts to woo him.

After her disappearance, he questioned it a lot; why her out of the many beautiful, noble and mature women. It was not easy to recollect the feeling he had when he was with her, now that he hadn't had the pleasure for such a long time. It was the tired and bloodstained days on the battlefield like this when he did, though. He remembered how she awoke a strange calm within him, but also a need. To protect her. To settle down and live a peaceful life. To be her everything on this planet, which must have felt foreign and dangerous to her. After Marlene, he hadn't been sure he would ever feel like that. He never wanted that feeling to leave his grasp again.

 _And then she left._ After an argument, but not even with him. He could still see her confused look as her wish to return home finally fulfilled right before his eyes. He did not know whether to blame her, Van, or himself for it. At the time, the fact that the young king still had such a power over her left him with a sour feeling that would be too simple to call jealousy. He felt it cheapened the love he had felt for the girl, which at the time he had been sure was genuine and requited.

He was not so certain anymore. He knew he had missed her all the years she was gone, even though his feelings subsided somehow with her absence. His mind settled on the explanation of her being some kind of replacement for his sister. Not in his heart, for he was sure the love he felt for Hitomi wasn't all brotherly. But in his empty house. His empty life. Strangely, her loss didn't hit him as hard as he would have thought. He knew she was safer back home, happier maybe, even. That was all he had wanted for her, after all. The whole matter was quickly overshadowed by the sudden appearance of his long-missing sister, and even more abrupt and strange vanishing of her. And that loss, and what followed, haunted him much more than that of the foreign girl.

Even if he had ever held any grudges towards Hitomi, they would now be pushed back by the need to see her safe. _If it truly is her who arrived._

He finally got within visible distance of the landing spot and could see the lone figure on the ground. Then his eyes caught a movement on the horizon. He cursed under his breath as he spotted an Alseides nearing the scene. Allen's heart filled with alarm. _No!_ He screamed her name in his mind as he lurched forward, but knew he would not be in time if the pilot decided to harm or kidnap the person without hesitation.

Luckily, that seemed not to be the case. The Zaibach soldier carefully closed in on, yes, definitely a woman. The knight wasn't sure yet if it was Hitomi, but the chances were solid. She took a few steps back as the guymelef loomed over her. He could already see the pilot opening the cockpit to get a better look at her.

Then the Zaibach soldier spotted Scherazade nearing them with the sword poised to strike and his posture turned defensive. He pointed the crima claw at the girl, who ducked, shielding her body poorly with her bare arms…

"Dammit!" Allen hissed, alarmed, and stopped right in his tracks. Within a split of a second, something hit the Zaibach guymelef from behind and the unit staggered from the blow. A torrent of crimson fluid started pouring from the cockpit down at the girl's feet. She paid it no heed as her gaze was still transfixed by the pilot's face, frozen in a painful grimace. Allen finally reached the scene and opened his visor as well. She slowly turned to look at him, still wide-eyed, still long-limbed, more of a woman now, but undoubtedly...

"Hitomi."

"A-Allen."

The Alseides half-folded, half-melted to the ground, revealing the golden double-crossed sword handle buried deep in its back. The knight and the girl both watched the white Yspano guymelef draw near them with slow, determined steps, then pull out the short sword out of the steaming pile and return it to its storing place on the back without extending it to its usual long, greatsword form.

Allen got his guymelef down on one knee at Hitomi's side. "Escaflowne…" he caught her whisper in awe as she gazed up at the white giant. _As usual,_ Allen thought. Van managed not only to put her at risk but also mentally scar her with one blow. Saving the situation was optional. The angry rashness of the king was something that would never gain him Allen's respect. But this was not the same kid he had met years ago in the forests surrounding Fort Castello. Lecturing, no matter how well-intentioned, was something the king barely tolerated and heeded even less so. The knight had long ago come to the conclusion it was a waste of time.

"How _considerate_ of you, Your Majesty," he still could not help but utter, his voice not completely without sarcasm. "You are safe now, Hitomi. May I ask to what do we owe the honor?"

She finally looked at him, eyes so wide she almost appeared unseeing.

"There is no time for that. Just get her out of here!" hissed the pilot of the white guymelef, without even opening the visor. He turned away from them, facing the three Zaibach guymelefs which appeared on the horizon in the direction he had come from. They seemed hesitant to approach, but the numbers were playing in their favor. Allen frowned, not happy to be ordered around by the younger man, yet realizing it would be most sensible to comply.

He lay Scherazade's palm flat on the ground before the girl. She paused, but then climbed onto it, her face still bearing a look of disbelief. As they started moving, she looked back at the scene few times, until it disappeared from view. Allen did too. Escaflowne's long cape flowed in the wind; otherwise, nobody made a move. The Zaibach soldiers seemed to be calculating, maybe waiting to collect more strength. He knew he didn't have to worry about Van; a few Alseides units in an open field would not get the best of him. More importantly, none of the Zaibach pilots decided to equip the stealth cloak and fly after them. _Good boys,_ the knight thought as he hurried to take them to the Alliance camp by way of the safest route.

* * *

Hitomi gripped the guymelef fingers so hard her arms were already getting tired. She looked down to see a poor wasteland sweep under her bit by bit with the guymelef's heavy steps. Or rather, its jumps. Her head was hurting. _Well, the sick part usually does hurt. I officially went crazy._ How on Earth had she landed in this escapist fantasy again? The dream she had never forgotten but thought it was just that: a dream. Yet she did not need to pinch herself to know this was not one she could wake up from. It did not even matter if this was real or if the inside of her head had become her reality, while her empty body lingered on some hospital bed.

Or had she… had she, in fact, died in that accident? The last thing she recalled… was… she was... She squeezed her eyes shut forcibly, shaking her head. _Calm down, Kanzaki. It doesn't matter. Can you feel that hammering in your chest? You are definitely alive here and now._ She had no other option but to accept it. Yes, she was on Gaea. And the very foundations of what she had thought true and possible were shaken.

Allen must have noticed her unease as he opened the visor again. "Don't worry, Hitomi. I am sorry you had such an unpleasant welcome back, but you are safe now. We will be at the Alliance camp soon."

"Thank you, Allen," she said, her voice still far from firm. They continued in silence for a while. She remembered the final days of her last visit and felt many old feelings resurface without invitation. She had felt such a strong wish to leave the war-ridden planet. It had overshadowed the will to help her friends, made her forget… even her feelings for the knight. Who said he loved her… who offered to _marry_ her, for goodness' sake.

Suddenly, she felt embarrassed. She wasn't familiar with dealing with an ex. Could Allen even be considered that? The awkwardness definitely felt real. _I just hope you forgot me quickly and easily. I hope you found happiness._ But seeing the war-torn landscape made her heart drop with a strong suspicion that her old friends had been fighting all these years that she had spent safely back on Earth. "Allen?" she started, fearing the answer to her question. But she had to know. "What happened after I left? How long has it been?"

For a while, the knight just looked at her. She concentrated all her energy on not avoiding his eyes. They were so blue… and kind. She knew people could fake kindness. And she wasn't sure she could see through an act like that anymore. _Could he have forgiven me? Maybe… it was not as important to him. Or is he just playing nice out of politeness?_ She looked back down shyly under his gaze.

"Sorry, I just wondered where to start," Allen said finally, with a hint of a smile. "Your departure was… four or five rotations ago, I think… unbelievable, how the time flies. The fight had continued, but after a few weeks reached a stalemate. With the help of her allies, Asturia defended herself successfully and Zaibach retreated for the time being. "

She watched him as he reminisced, failing to figure his feelings out from his handsome face. _He looks a bit older_ , she realized. Nothing she could name betrayed it, but some of the youthfulness she remembered had left silently. _Perhaps from his eyes_ , she mused.

"A big offensive against Zaibach had been out of the question at the time," he continued. "Not with their thousands of guymelefs and advanced technology. It was our time to wait and see when and how Dornkirk would attack. It seemed as though he was expecting something, delaying his decision. It wasn't like he couldn't try and overpower us any time he wanted. The Empire closed into itself instead. We had nothing to do but sit still. I gradually returned to my duties as the Knight Caeli. And Van returned to Fanelia. Or tried to. Zaibach had defeated his kingdom but hadn't captured the land. Dragons roamed through what remained of the city instead. We contemplated if that was the reason Zaibach had not made any moves to at least form a base there, but it was improbable. They had more than enough resources to deal with a few land dragons."

"I see. That's really strange indeed. But what happened to the Fanelians?" Hitomi asked.

"Van found his people scattered in the villages of Fanelia's hold," Allen explained. "It was as we had suspected and his brother confirmed it. The attack on Fanelia was only about luring out Escaflowne; Dornkirk had no interest in his land or resources. There was a single, medium-sized floating fortress hiding in the mountains, which, we found out, was responsible for securing a very broad strip of land. Van, being the reckless fool he is, attacked and defeated the crew almost singlehandedly. When we arrived with the Crusade, there was not much left to do. We disposed of the bodies and Folken secretly assisted us in maneuvering the fortress right above the destroyed Fanelia. We swung rope ladders down from it and that's where the first returners to the city stayed to remain safe. But as we discovered later, by that time, the dragons had already disappeared from the city."

Her eyes went wide. "Van managed to regain Fanelia! That's amazing!"

"Not all people would say that. Let me be honest, I was afraid of what this thoughtless provocation would cause. We all knew Zaibach could smite Fanelia, and possibly Asturia, if they really wanted to…"

 _Oh._ She hadn't thought of that.

"King Aston was livid. If he hadn't known of my uses on the battlefield, I'm sure he would have punished me severely… maybe capitally…" —he grimaced— "for putting my country in such danger. I would have understood. Still, I felt the need to help Van recover at least some of his country's honor. I felt I owed it to Balgus, as well. My crew and I helped as we could."

"I'm sure Balgus would have liked that." She saw Allen's expression soften at that shortly before he continued and the serious look returned to his face again.

"Little was missing, though, and it could have been for naught. We expected an all-out attack but it never came. Instead, Dornkirk sent a single unit led by Dilandau to deal with this... little insurgency. It was a memorable battle. Dilandau…" he paused shortly, his frown deepening. "…was defeated and Van rose from it as one of the war's heroes. After that, silence. Van started rebuilding his country, even though I know he must have been well aware of the axe poised over them. If Zaibach decided to attack, they would sweep their few years' efforts down with one finger. Dornkirk either doesn't care or amuses himself with it."

"Why is Van here, then, and not in Fanelia?" she wondered out loud. "His country needs a king and a protector."

Allen sighed. "It's not that simple. This is still the age of war, not recovery. Somewhere in-between, the combined Alliance army started to form. Secret meetings, training camps, strengthening of defenses. I was a part of it on Asturia's side. Everyone was doing their best. It was a matter of time before Dornkirk's spies would inform the other side. Then started the skirmishes. The four Zaibach armies started independent operations and several fronts opened shortly one after another. We have been fighting with some breaks ever since. "

She gasped, trying to imagine it. From what she understood, this was a large-scale war. Coming with it was the death on the battlefield, the suffering, and shortcomings of the civilians. She was sure her younger self would have been seeing some of it right now with her mind's eye. The current Hitomi was thankfully free of visions.

 _But for how long, when I'm here?_

"Van decided to help on his own. I would not have requested him to. Not one of the other monarchs is present in the field. Chid, whose country, together with Fanelia, suffered the most, stays out of it and concentrates on getting his country back on its feet. But Van still feels like this is his war..."

"He always did," Hitomi said.

"He is not entirely wrong, though," Allen admitted. "For the troops, Escaflowne is an important symbol of hope that heightens their morale. Once, the enemy's numbers alone had been enough to put us in misery. But we picked up. We coordinate our advances better. It is one Alliance army now instead of Asturians, Basramians, or Chezarians. No small thanks to Folken Fanel, our technological advancement has been remarkable. We have a chance of winning this war now. And I swore to myself I won't stop either until we do." Hitomi felt an uneasy feeling settle in her stomach as he said that.

It persisted even after their conversation trailed off as they came into the visible distance of the Alliance camp. It was a large structure, composed of numerous tents of various sizes, with an occasional cart or melef visible. Wooden watchtowers were built on the neighboring hills and she even spotted a leviship stationed on the side of the mountain. Seeing the camp filled her with cautious curiosity. She never really was in one on her previous visit. The nature of war must have changed. And she was sure it meant nothing good.

Allen took Scherazade in, bringing it to a wooden structure designated for the purpose of housing guymelefs. The giant armors alone, the mere sight of which always gripped her heart with fear based on her previous experiences, pressed a single thought into her mind. _I'm back for real._

The guymelef shelter looked to be heavily guarded. But so had been Fanelia, Allen's fort, and Freid. _Is it enough against the invisible giants?_ She voiced the question to Allen.

"The stealth cloaks are not that much trouble anymore," he replied. "Folken constructed a lens which lets you see them. We use them for our binoculars and telescopes. "

"Folken did?"

"Right. He was the one who had designed the cloaks after all. I told you, without him, we would still be years behind Zaibach in technology. He still stays in Asturia and our king provides his research with all the support he can muster." That was interesting news, but most of all, she was glad Folken found his place on their side. She prayed it also meant that Van abandoned his cold vengefulness against his brother he had been showing right before she left.

After putting the guymelef to rest, Allen took her to his own tent. It was sparsely furnished but had everything he would need. He even produced a bottle of wine with two glasses, but she politely declined and opted for water instead. She curiously asked about the fates of her old acquaintances: Merle, Princess Millerna, Dryden, little Chid and the rest. She didn't have to ask much about Allen's own story, as it was being revealed alongside little by little. He still had his companions, even though some of them had been lost to the war, one to marriage, even. She was sincerely looking forward to seeing Gaddes, who was still Allen's right hand and a loyal friend. The sergeant had acted as her guardian on several occasions and she remembered his simple but honest kindness fondly.

The Crusade was currently acting as one of the supply lines from Asturia, Allen explained. It often also transported cargo of important information or people between various locations. Allen said it worried him some, as it could easily be recognized and become a target for an attack one day. Maybe he would have to replace the ship and act more undercover. Crusade would be back from Asturia soon, he told her. And afterward, she could take it on their way back to Palas to visit Millerna.

She suddenly felt shy remembering the judging and dangerous environment of the Asturian court. She was also not sure Millerna would be willing to see her. Allen reassured her with a smile. She wondered briefly about his relationship with the crown princess, now that the engagement with Dryden was, apparently, out of the picture.

It was shocking to hear the Merchant had given his promise ring back to Millerna, causing much uproar in the Asturian high-society circles. Dryden had returned to his merchant business, even though now it was all about war. Asturia was not left unmarked by it, Allen warned. Still, the battlefield was pushed far away from Palas, and that was fortunate for the seaside country.

At this point, they were talking like old friends and she could not have been more thankful for Allen's easy-going nature. At least an hour must have gone by. Allen asked if she wanted to eat. She nodded, seeing it was him who probably was hungry. Not that she wasn't herself, but her stomach still felt wobbly.

In a few minutes, they made their way across the mostly empty camp to the field kitchen. It was located next to a guarded cave, which must have held the food supply. There were several fires and open tents, a water pump, and a crowd of seasoned looking cooks with very young assistants from among soldiers. Just as they approached the head cook, a terrifying woman of unspecifiable age and firm build, the horns marked the return of the troops to the camp. Allen joked about them having barely avoided the soup line.

Huge cauldrons of the steaming liquid and piles of bread were already awaiting the soldiers, along with empty rows of simple wooden tables and benches. Soon, they had a bowl of hot soup each and Allen shamelessly flirted his way into an extra portion of smoked ham. He shed his gloves, cut the meat, and put it on a slice of bread topped with a bit of a sauce. She tried the soup and understood why Allen didn't start with it. The broth could have been good once, before it was watered down a bit too much. She bit into the simple sandwich he had prepared for her next and she was immediately reminded of wasabi. They apparently had some kind of radish on Gaea. But the ham was very good. And she realized she had indeed been hungry as she wolfed the rustic but delicious meal down.

After a while, the camp started to fill with men, some hastily approaching the kitchen tent already. Allen turned to her, "They are early today… Let's go find Van, what do you say?"

Hitomi nodded, feeling a bit apprehensive. Honestly, she could not say if she was looking forward to that meeting. From what she saw and heard, his unsociable ways had not changed much and he was as war-obsessed as ever.

The walk back was very different. They had to avoid the influx of returning soldiers of random Alliance countries' origin and various states of health and dress. Some were carried on stretchers to the hospital tent at the far end of the camp. The dead were apparently left or burned right on the battlefield. She felt her stomach, now full, turn at the thought.

"This is the officers' tent," Allen announced, breaking her thoughts. Right, she already noticed the structure towering above the rest of them. It was decorated in Gaean fashions, the colorful geometric patterns discerning it from the rest of them. "Here is where they meet every evening to talk results and battle plans," he explained.

"Is Van an official now?" she asked.

"No. He has no rank in the Alliance army; he is not a simple soldier after all. The men respect him even without that. He fulfills various tasks in the battle, but in the chain of command, he has the position of… a captain, perhaps. The royalty is always welcome to the highest strategy meetings, though."

She didn't have the time to put a second thought to that as the guards stationed at the entrance made way for them and they walked into the tent. The short corridor made of linen walls led them to the main part of the makeshift building. It was huge, she noted. And richly decorated, from what she could see. She spotted padded chairs and polished furniture, animal furs and flags made from expensive-looking fabrics lined with gold, wherever her view wasn't effectively obstructed by the soldiers in their full gear. There were more people (including a few beastmen) inside than she expected– many of them looking like guards or warriors. The main cluster was concentrated in the center of the area, around what was shaped like a giant table.

Inspired by movies and such, she imagined it held a map, along with the miniatures of strategic units on it, even though her view was fully blocked by the mass of bodies. Nobody noticed their arrival yet, with the heated discussions several groups led. She could not see the king anywhere. Although, it definitely looked like she was the only woman in the company of older, war-steeled men inside, and the realization made her uneasy. Allen must have sensed her discomfort and put his hand on her back, leading her deeper into the room.

That's when a few people started noticing them, and she heard acknowledgments of Allen's presence from several directions. Finally, even some heads from the main table turned in their direction. The eyes were drawn from Allen to her and she felt like an intruder again. She was quickly reminded of the glares she had received in the palace of Asturia, several years prior. She even caught murmurs of 'light pillar' and 'Mystic Moon', if that wasn't her overactive imagination. The sound level dropped significantly, though, she was sure.

Allen temporarily let go of her to shake hands with a foreign-looking young man, exchanging a few polite phrases. Suddenly, he turned to her, announcing with a strong voice: "Gentlemen, may I present to you the Lady Hitomi, the seeress who helped us greatly at the beginning of this Great War." _What the…?_ She didn't expect Allen to be so open about her identity. The statement instantly drew unwanted attention to her. Plus, she could no longer be called a seeress, anyway.

Panicked, and having lost the comfort of Allen's hand, she was searching for help, for one kind pair among the judging eyes of the officials. A soldier of pudgy build turned back from the table to get a better look at her, revealing a figure still leaning over the table. She felt a sense of déjà vu, as the man straightened his shoulders and finally turned to look at her. The jump in her pulse revealed his identity immediately. Their eyes met for a fleeting moment and she could have cried, courtesy of the strange feeling of pity that filled her heart. It was totally unreasonable, because she could see he grew up well—like she had always known he would. But the burgundy irises she remembered were devoid not only of the kindness she was hoping for, but of any emotion at all.

Is this what the war had done to him? Or was it simply a result of growing up? She realized the lifeless eyes reminded her of his brother quite a bit. He was starting to move in their direction and she had to rip her gaze away uncomfortably. Compared to how she had known him, it felt like this was a stranger.

Trying to distract herself from her previous line of thought, she focused on other parts of his appearance. He was wearing a uniform, she noted, and while simple of cut and decoration, it fit him rather well. The garb wasn't any of those she has seen during her previous visit, but she realized she saw plainer and more disarrayed versions of it through the camp. _The Alliance uniform._

It was predominantly black, which in itself gave him a gave different air than what he used to wear before. The stiff, dark fabric was cut in straight, stern lines. The coat was long but lacked the separate bottom piece that was the part of the Caeli or Zaibach uniform. It still retained a similar shape, though, flaring a bit under the tightly fitted part around the king's chest and abdomen. The upper part had a stand-up, metal ornamented collar often present in Gaean fashion, and there were some buttoned epaulets on the shoulders and sides fastening it together. Van wore a leather belt on it, which held the familiar royal sword of Fanelia. That was all its sparse decoration. No showy ruffles of the Asturian shirts or shoulder pads, just simple straight sleeves, similarly colored pants and caramel-colored boots that currently stopped in front of her and Allen. Yes, that was where she wanted to keep her eyes, but she forced herself to look up.

And she really had to look _up_ , that was also new.

Ahh, so he was capable of showing a bit of emotion. Namely, it looked like mild irritation, but he wasn't looking at her. "Did you have to bring her here?!" he uttered through his clenched teeth. _Ah... And hello to you, too._ She felt some of her own exasperation bubble up inside. He said that with a voice only loud enough for her and Allen. The knight responded in a similar subdued tone.

"Do you mind, Your Majesty? It's quite a precious visitor we have right here." Was she imagining the mocking undertone? Well, she certainly didn't remember him ever using titles with Van. Allen's small smile directed at the king remained unrequited.

This time, Van turned to her. "It's good to see you, Hitomi."

"Y-yeah, you too…" She felt like she should say more, but she felt really uncomfortable around him. She knew they would have to talk at some point, but she couldn't imagine a worse moment. Most of the eyes in the room were still directed at them.

At last, someone, an older man, expressed some interest in her verbally.

"Isn't she the one Zaibach wanted? They jeopardized the wedding of Princess Millerna to kidnap her." The question hung in the air uncomfortably for a few seconds.

"Maybe Zaibach desperately needed to recruit some more little girls for their army."

She couldn't believe her own ears. That was a joke. Out of Van's mouth. Even though the gruff laugh of the men was on her account, she felt most of the attention leave her and was unexpectedly relieved. Strangely, the only ones who didn't seem amused at all were the king and the knight. Allen actually looked somewhat peeved and it wasn't easy to bring something like that out of his usually pleasant countenance.

"Gentlemen, if you'll excuse us," he muttered as Van had already stepped towards the entrance. She followed him gratefully, with the knight on her heels. Concerned murmurs followed them outside, until they were replaced with the calm chirping of the insects, interrupted only by some calls and laughs in the distance. The sun had always set within minutes here, she remembered. She knew soon the Mystic Moon and its smaller brother would fill the night sky.

"Parading Hitomi right under their noses? Brilliant, Allen," Van uttered grumpily when they were out of the earshot of the commander tent.

"Many saw the pillar of light. There would have been questions anyway. And it's not a good idea to keep secrets from your allies. They might get suspicious."

"So, now they know the girl Zaibach wanted is here. And maybe some others will want her, too. To see what all the fuss is about."

"They definitely would, if we tried to keep her hidden. Now they know it's just a young girl. You don't need to worry, either way. I will protect her," Allen said earnestly.

"Umm…," Hitomi interrupted uncertainly. _I am right here,_ she wanted to say but chose a less confronting option. "I… I didn't want to cause any trouble…" They both looked at her. Her heart fluttered, but she said, firmer than before, "Anyway, there's nothing to 'fuss about'. Since I've left Gaea, I don't have any strange powers anymore."

Van contested her claim immediately. "Then how come you've returned?"

"She does not know," Allen replied in her stead.

"Is that so?" The king watched her with those strangely hollow eyes.

She met them unfailingly. She was not to be intimidated by the likes of him. She had never been, and she was not planning to now. "I had an accident. But I certainly didn't wish myself here. That's why it feels so strange. I really don't know why."

"What kind of accident?" he pried further.

Hitomi furrowed her brow. What was this, an interrogation? _I may have been hit by a train a little. Let's see what you make of that, s_ he thought. It felt almost funny.

"I… fell down." Her lightly scraped knees suggested as much. "And was almost run over…"

Remembering that was not the best idea. The fear, the spike of adrenaline was returning to her. She had to take her face in her hands to stop the horrifying memory of the locomotive approaching her head-on before it overwhelmed her. She was sure nobody possessed the same memory and lived to tell about it. She shook her head and the face of the dying Alseides pilot appeared instead, his eyes begging for another minute of life… suddenly, she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Hitomi, are you alright?" Allen's concerned question thankfully made the picture dissolve. She always liked the smooth quality of his voice. It was Amano's voice, just speaking in a different, practiced manner. She didn't mind it. Van just frowned suspiciously.

"Yes. I just… I need rest."

"She cannot stay here," Van said.

"I know," Allen echoed and turned to her. "The Crusade should arrive shortly. Hitomi, if you agree, we will take you to Asturia. You can visit Princess Millerna for a while."

"Will you stay in Asturia as well, Allen? To protect her?" the king asked.

"She should be safe in the palace," the knight reassured but the younger man did not seem convinced.

"The same palace she was kidnapped from? Twice?"

"They doubled the guard recently. If the princesses are safe there, so is she."

"She would be if nobody knew she was on Gaea," Van said.

Allen scowled back at him. "I'd be more than happy to protect Hitomi. But I have to see what my orders are. Unless you want to take on the task?"

"I can't leave here, you know that."

"Very well. It looks like my plan is the only one we have, after all. Come to Asturia after the battle is over. We can discuss this further, then."

"How… how is the battle going?" Hitomi asked, sensing the conversation was almost over. And she wanted to know before it was. An irrational fear had wound itself into her heart. Someone could be in danger, most probably Van. It could be the reason why she was here… Wait, she didn't have any vision yet, so what was she basing it on? _Well… probably the past experiences,_ she thought sarcastically. The king's behind used to get in trouble constantly.

"Many have fallen. But we are winning this." There was not even a trace of doubt in his voice.

"Hitomi… the battles are none of your concern. I hope you are not considering staying here in the camp after all," Allen schooled.

She knew he was right; this was no place for her. It was a battlefield. And a camp of foreign soldiers. Asturia would definitely feel friendlier.

As if on cue, a group of laughing drunks appeared next to them, passing them by unhurriedly. She knew the exact moment they spotted her, for they started to make unmistakable noises. It wasn't usual to see a female exposed like that on Gaea, she was aware of that. And she wanted to disappear into the ground. But they apparently recognized her company, because they seemed to sober up immediately, saluting and greeting 'His Majesty' and 'Lord Knight'. One was lagging behind the group though, and he halted wobblingly as he passed, eyeing her deliriously.

"Nice legs," he concluded his observations.

"Thanks," Allen said and kicked the soldier's own legs out from under him. The drunk tripped and sprawled on the ground, out of it.

"Allen's right. You should go to Palas," Van said, his hand dropping from his sword handle.

She would. After all, she didn't have much of a choice but do as they pleased. She didn't kid herself; she would be in a very difficult situation here in this place without their help.

Seeing the two men still waiting for her response, Hitomi finally nodded in agreement.

* * *

 **Hi there! I don't have that much to say this time, no worries. Before all, I would like to thank all the people who reviewed, followed or simply liked the first chapter.**

 **Anyway, big and special thanks to my first couple of reviewers (you know who you are), who took their time to comment (even though I totally forgot to insert a lowly plea for reviews in the first chapter, haha… which would not happen now… because I finally know first-hand how much they mean to a writer and their motivation). There are a lot of new and ongoing tempting stories coming up, and wow, do I love to see it in this fandom. I will put my best effort to review when I find the time to read them!**

Chapter notes:

Yes, unfortunately, the Great War continues, as great wars usually do, for years. In the last couple of episodes of the series, you see glimpses of all the armies of the other countries with their own distinct designs and technologies, from medieval-looking knights, through Napoleonic era-like soldiers to submarines. And this all took about two episodes, because well, the show was inevitably ending. I think this is the most obvious pointer in the direction that the series had once, in the very early phases, been planned to be longer. I thought it was a waste of good worldbuilding, so here we are.

'Knights Caeli', 'Heavenly Knights' and 'Knights of the Order of Heaven' will be used interchangeably throughout the story. 'Knights of Heaven' is the literal translation from Japanese, for which the fancier, Latin-sounding term 'Caeli' has been coined for the English releases. The order thing is something I made up because the Knights Caeli (in the artbooks defined as something like a "title bestowed upon 12 excellent Asturian knights together with a guymelef") reminds me of the famous medieval knight orders, such as the 'Order of the Garter', 'Order of Saint XY' etc. I think it's okay to have several names and nicknames for the same thing; it often works like that, right?

I hope Allen's voice was not too 'fancy' or 'snobbish' sounding. I enjoyed writing him, even though it was hard.

I think my _light_ fetish for things such as uniforms, medieval warfare, knights and their tents and stuff really shows in this chapter. Not that I know too much about it (my ideas of it stem from fiction, TV, medieval fairs and such), but I love the setting. To be fair, a military camp (or at least a couple of tents) is shown in the series, for example right after Van retrieves Hitomi back from Earth and the soldiers from Cesario ask him for help. But that, as we know, did not happen in this fic, and I imagined the camp here bigger, more permanent and organized.

I have sketched the Alliance uniform several times, I get stuck on things like that. But I cannot really disregard it, since, as you see, I made it a part of one of the main characters' design. I will definitely post the sketches on my Tumblr (visarcana) at some point. Just having some technical issues with that right now.

 _ **I would be really happy to know what you think about this chapter, the characters and so on. I cramped a lot of exposition in because I have many greater events planned and I'm getting impatient. I hope it was not too much… but hey, the main trio is already assembled, and soon, other characters will follow.**_

 _ **Hope to see you then!**_

 _~Rin_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter version: 2.0 [beta-read by Lera/Blue Funk, thank you once again!]**

 _Chapter 3_

"She is back," he said, as if to the darkness of the tent, illuminated by a single energist lamp. Merle looked at her king, almost done with her task. His back was to her and the dinner lay on the table, untouched.

"Who is?" she asked, forcing her voice to sound cheerful instead of exhausted. It had been a tedious day at the hospital tent where she had helped out today, and all that she was waiting for was his comfort so she could lie down.

"Hitomi. She is back on Gaea. Didn't you see the light pillar?" _Oh._ She was rendered speechless for a few moments. No, she hadn't seen any pillar, nor had anyone she spoke to this day.

Van turned his head in her general direction, without really looking at her.

"Whoa. I haven't quite expected to see her again." Recovering from her momentary shock, she eyed the king suspiciously. "And how do we feel about that?"

She saw him hesitate, then press his lips together. "You need to figure that out yourself. Why don't you go see her?" His tone was already betraying signs of annoyance.

Alright, she knew this was a topic where she should tread lightly. They barely ever talked about Hitomi and that surely had a reason. A reason none of them would like to think about too much.

But after so many years, she knew just how far she was allowed to go. "I just do not want to treat her any differently than you would, Lord Van. But yeah, she did leave us hanging back there, didn't she? With the way she left…"

"She was a scared girl who wanted to go back home from day one. I don't think anyone should bear her any grudges now. More importantly, why is she here now?"

"Does it make you worry? I will see what I can find out, what do you say?"

"I don't think she knows the answer herself," he sighed.

For some reason, Merle was not convinced. "Hmm, let's see about that. Where is she?"

"She went off with Allen."

"So he took her into custody again?" she asked. "Geez, don't tell me she still has the hots for him."

"He said he will take her to Asturia on their next trip; the camp or the battlefield is no place for her," he finally looked at her pointedly, "Neither is it for you, Merle."

 _Oh, again with the old song?_ "I know that and you know I'll stay with you no matter what," she shrugged.

Van just frowned as usual. Even that was better than the impassive mask he seemed to be wearing more and more these days. She knew it was unfit for someone of his stature to show too much emotion, but Merle didn't like to see it at all.

"You should go with them," he said in a tone that she knew well enough to translate as an order. "You'll be safer there if the battle goes awry, after all. And I need you to keep an eye on Hitomi."

"I'm to be her chaperone now? Lucky me," Merle complained under her breath. Not that she wouldn't do whatever he asked. She just walked to pick up the wooden pail a bit grumpier than before.

"There is a reason she is here and Allen underestimates it. And all the alliance bigwigs know about her now." Merle could just imagine the deepening frown on his face as he said that.

"Do you think they would try to kidnap her or something?"

"I don't know. No idea how much they heard of her or her powers."

The two buckets she stacked made a lot more noise than she intended. "Does Zaibach know she's here?"

"I got rid of the Zaibach soldiers who saw her. But more must have seen the pillar of light. Anyway, the Emperor wanted her, remember? Zaibach could have actually been the ones to bring her back."

Merle tested the water, letting her claws linger in the warm liquid in thought. _Zaibach, you say?_ Finally, she collected herself, standing up.

"Sounds like trouble," she said, toweling off. "Can't you come back to Asturia with us, then?"

He sighed. "No. I need to see this was not all for nothing. The losses were immense, but it should be over in a few days."

Merle frowned. If Hitomi was in the place of battle, she could predict if something bad could happen to her liege. But he didn't want her here. And she didn't wonder why; it was not a safe place for a girl as weak and naïve as she remembered the Seeress to be. There was nothing Merle could do but follow her orders.

"Your bath is ready," she said instead of an affirmation.

Well, 'bath' was an overstatement; it was a big wooden bowl with a smaller one to pour water over oneself. The white sheet she covered the planks with barely worked to make it a little more comfortable. It was a luxury most here didn't have, anyway.

"Thanks," he said, sounding absent. Merle tied her knapsack around her hips.

"Alright. I'll be off then. Please be careful."

"I'll find you in Asturia."

She spared one last look at her king as she closed the flap behind her. His head was bowed and even though there was nothing about him that would betray it now, she reminded herself for a hundredth time how vulnerable he was, underneath everything. Despite what he may tell himself. _I know you too well. And like hell I would allow you to be hurt again._

The thought did not leave her as she marched amidst the tents, bitterly regretting that she couldn't take to all fours like when she was a kitten. Well, no matter how impatient she was getting, it would be unbecoming to run with her tail up, as she was a woman grown now. If she ever forgot about it, the lecherous male looks directed at various parts of her figure were quick to remind her.

It was enough that she was a female, which for some meant she lived solely for the comfort and pleasure of man. But for those brutes, being of cat folk just meant that she was an exotic treat, something to spice up their usual ogling practices. In Fanelia, it was never such a problem as it was here, though. Apparently, the camp followers who always opened a business not too far away from the main cluster of tents were not sufficient for the hundreds of starved soldiers.

Not that anyone would actually dare to put a hand on her. Even the calls she received were usually polite enough, using double-meanings instead of the plain vulgarity she witnessed several times when she wasn't the focus of them.

Her claws were sharp, as was the dagger she kept at her waist now. But she knew that wasn't the reason she received special treatment compared to the other women who were unfortunate enough to be present at this place. Everyone was aware of who she belonged with. And as much as she didn't like to admit it, her king was feared almost as much as he was loved among the troops.

Yes, the sight of Escaflowne mowing down her enemies, which would have made her happy once, put Merle herself ill at ease now. She finally understood Hitomi when she had been worried about Van killing the Dragonslayers so easily. And unlike the Seeress, she was fully aware that it had to be done.

The foreign girl never understood what it was like to be a child of this planet. Merle wouldn't faint or cry because of seeing something like that. She wouldn't try to stop the fight; it was impossible, foolish even. It wasn't like Lord Van started the war. He couldn't just give up and not fight when so much was at stake.

That Hitomi must have been raised sheltered like a princess back home. Even Millerna, the only princess she could say she knew, was more hardened to the reality of war and pain. She would not have chosen to be a doctor if it wasn't that way. Not that even Millerna could compare to herself.

She had no memory of it herself, but Merle knew her natural parents had been murdered in cold blood before Balgus could find and rescue her. Losing her new family bit by bit, she was no stranger to death as she was growing up in Fanelia. She survived the gruesome destruction of her home on the day of Van's coronation. And saw enough of the horrors of the war that followed. The grisly scenes she saw in the hospital tents as she helped the nurses didn't faze her anymore; what she could learn there was more important.

Merle had been and would continue to be strong for her king. She even learned to wield a long dagger to be more of use. It was surprising how easy the skill came to her. Even Van was impressed as they trained together.

Yes, she feared for him every day he was fighting. But she also believed in him and he always came back. All it took was him ruffling her hair or simply thanking her for taking care of him, and it was like she was back to when they were kids in Fanelia.

To be his wife and queen, that had been her wish since she was a little kitten. It had felt like the natural outcome of things once. But now that she was a woman, someone who could actually be a partner for him, that dream seemed farther away than ever. Because she realized at some point that there were various kinds of love. And some of those he would never feel for her.

And even if he did, it wouldn't feel right for her, either. It would negate all the precious memories of the two little kids who had only had each other after their family left them, one by one. Little Merle would crawl into the little prince's bed, afraid of the night, but also aware simply by the manner of his breathing that he was just as awake as her. Because he was afraid, too. Lonely and sad. He would pretend sleep as she curled against his back and instinctively purred. She waited until he didn't have to pretend, allowing herself to fall asleep as well.

She wished she could simply do something like that when she witnessed his occasional insomnia or nightmares. But of course, she couldn't. No matter how much they would try to pretend, their innocent childhood was forever gone. And neither of them would want to taint its memory.

But Merle was still his closest person, the one who knew him best. The one who knew of the kindness and selflessness behind that warrior king persona and the entire wrath.

She used to bring the young prince little animals she captured, not even knowing why at first. Later, it was to cheer him up. She had to show excellent hunting skills, catching the small bird or mouse without harming it. Van would always get angry and scold her if the animal got hurt. When it didn't, he would smile and thank her politely. Then he would hold it for a while, observing and caressing it curiously. Following a few unfortunate accidents when they tried to keep the captured wildlife in their naivety and they had to mourn its death shortly after, they started to release them back into the woods. They also learned not to befriend the farm animals, for they ended up on their plates sooner or later, their pleas and tears not softening the hearts of any of the adult palace population.

The palace had long fallen, but she still recognized the kind-hearted prince in King Van, while not many living could. But she also knew the soldiers were right to fear him. The war had changed him bit by bit. His guymelef handling got so good, there was rarely an opponent which could stagger him. But Zaibach would not stop trying. Dilandau's squad and the leopard women were long gone, but there were four huge armies with their own heroes and captains.

Still, the Alliance had hope for winning the war now. And for many, it was embodied in the White Dragon. The boy-king of Fanelia, who lost everything, but could also save everything. He had already recovered some of which was lost.

She was proud of him. Yet afraid. Afraid the war would eventually consume him.

How long would it take them to defeat Zaibach? How many months, years? How long until Fanelia's rebuilding was finished? _When will the pressure be off him?_

Gradually, it hardened him into a diamond, polished him into smooth marble. But her Van had been all rough planes, deep valleys and sharp edges. Easy to crack for someone who knew him, and Merle knew him better than anyone. That was who he truly was, that was how she got to know him.

 _But people change._

She didn't like to admit it, but she was afraid she would lose him. Not only to death, which was scary enough, but at least simple. Worse still, she was afraid she would lose him to an emotionless monarch. To a ruthless killer on the battlefield. To a person she would not recognize.

That was one of the reasons she knew she had to stay close. So that he would not one day return to her as somebody else. Merle was fully aware that the pains of the war and the responsibilities of ruling gnawed at him. She tried what she could to reverse the damage, but worried it would not be enough. A fear had been creeping into her heart little by little. A haunting possibility that the dreaded change would happen anyway, as she stood next to him, unable to do anything.

And now, _she_ was here again.

Somehow, Merle knew that Hitomi could change the course of their future. The girl was dangerous. She could make the world stop spinning with her clumsy hand. She might break the carefully woven structures and shatter the vulnerable parts together with them. Was it good she was back or was she supposed to worry even more? Was she even the same person after all these years? All those questions whirled in her head as she approached the hangar.

* * *

Hitomi felt another wave of nostalgia as she watched an all too familiar leviship descend to the side of the camp, where she saw the first one today. Allen smiled as well, "Looks like you'll have somewhere to sleep tonight, after all."

She looked at him in mock surprise, "What if it hadn't arrived?!"

"No worries, I would have forfeited my bed, of course. And gone to sleep with the men."

Well, she didn't like the idea of sleeping alone in the tent in this place, either. Not that she would actually _want_ Allen to stay with her… She still blushed profusely, as if he could read her mind.

The crew started to unload the cargo as soon as it landed. They nodded to Allen, some adding 'boss' as they passed them. She thought she recognized some faces, but some were definitely new. At first, they didn't pay her much heed. It looked like they were used to seeing Allen with female companionship. She was not surprised. Finally, someone stopped to get a better look at her. "Well, I'll be damned if it isn't the little lady!"

The one she remembered as Reeden almost dropped his load. "Will you be our goddess of victory again, miss? Gods know we could use one."

"Reeden, spare Lady Hitomi of this nonsense, she has a long day behind her."

"So it _is_ you, Lady Hitomi… our Seeress is back!" he announced aloud. The men curiously neared her, some recognizing her and greeting her excitedly. Hitomi replied shyly; happy about their warm reaction but not too comfortable to be on the receiving end of so much attention.

Finally, she spotted Sergeant Gaddes, overseeing the unloading of the cargo from afar with a pile of papers in his hands. At her name, he perked up. It was harder to recognize him: he was a bit… more unshaven than before? He walked to them casually.

"M'lady. What a nice surprise," he said with a lopsided smile. She felt herself smile back.

"Gaddes, we need a room for Lady Hitomi to stay in, we will take her with us to Asturia later. She has returned to us." The way Allen said it warmed her inside a little.

"I see, and yet… I can't believe my own two eyes. Welcome to our humble… world again, little lady."

"Gaddes, I'm glad to see you well. Thank you for taking care of me." She couldn't help but add a little bow at the end.

"Oh, don't mention it. Can't remember the last time the boss entrusted me with such a pleasant task. Not the best employer, lately." He handed the stack of documents to the knight together with a quill.

"Quit lying, where would you find better working conditions than by me?", Allen murmured, his eyes already skimming across the pages. "Maybe you're just getting old."

"Well, not everybody has a spring of youth in the basement like you, boss," he said, winking secretly at Hitomi.

The knight signed the documents at the bottom. "Reeden, get this and the supplies to the lieutenant personally. Not his deputy like the last time. That guy is useless."

"Yes, boss."

Allen held out his palm and Gaddes handed him a few much smaller rolls of paper. The knight stuck them into his shirt sleeve and turned to her.

"I am awfully sorry, but I have some other business to attend to before we leave in the morning. If you'll excuse me," he bowed down, his long hair brushing the hand he took and imitated a kiss on. Hitomi got a bit flustered at the gesture. She was no lady, after all; no matter how many times Allen's men said it. Why the knight felt the need for such formalities in the merry company of his crew was beyond her. Perhaps it was out of habit.

"I'll show you to your cabin," Gaddes interrupted her thoughts.

 _Her_ _cabin_ was a tiny dark corner of the Crusade with only an airing vent in lieu of a window, but it was furnished in a rather… frilly manner. She did not remember such a place ever being on the ship, where room had always been scarce. She only managed a simple 'wow.'

"Well, we had a certain princess on board some time ago, so she made herself… at home, so to say."

"But is it okay for me to stay here?" she wondered aloud.

"No other place fit for a lady on the ship, and I doubt you'd like to sleep downstairs with the crew. Princess Millerna surely wouldn't mind." She nodded. "I'll bring you some water. Is there anythin' else? Aren't you hungry?"

"No, thank you again, Gaddes."

"You remember your way 'round the deck, right? If you need something, just let me know, I'll be downstairs. Don't leave the ship alone, it can be dangerous."

"I understand."

"Well, see you in the mornin', then."

"Good night," she said to the sergeant. He smiled back at her.

It was getting dark already. Thankfully, Gaddes left her an energist lamp. She looked into the flickering flame and contemplated her strange fate again. Why her, why was she so special? She spent the last few years convincing everyone that she was as ordinary as can be. Apparently, it wasn't true. She wondered what Yukari and the guys did, after she… disappeared. She hated to make her loved ones worry. She most probably ruined her friends' trip; they had to inform her family. She caused nothing but trouble.

She stretched out defeatedly on the narrow bed.

But maybe, maybe this was the last time she did? What followed her collapse in the middle of the railroad track felt so surreal. Maybe her real body was on Earth and this was just a limbo. Maybe she was hit and ended up comatose. Maybe she… was killed. Who can say what happens after that? _Oh Yukari, did you have to watch that? Did I ruin the memories of the happiest time of your life? I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Ri-chan._ She felt tears well up in her eyes.

A short ring of her phone caused her to almost fall off the bed. _Oh, just a low battery warning._ She stretched back again, feeling stupid. A second chime… definitely the message tune! But how… _Oh, God… It's like the last time..._ She had gotten a message from Amano on her old pager. Following her supposed 'return to Earth', she anxiously searched for that message in history, but could not find it… nor any other proof that Gaea ever happened. _Of course._

Her present self reached for her duffel and fished in it impatiently until she found the phone.

' _Hitomi. We miss you terribly. I hope  
you are well, wherever you are…'_

She stared at the words until her tears blurred them. _Yukari. Mom. Dad. Mamoru..._ Another battery beep. Oh no, her phone was dying! And she had nowhere to charge it!

' _I'm fine…'_ she punched in hastily as a reply and hit 'Send' right away. She was looking at the loading symbol hopefully... and the display went black. Frustrated, Hitomi threw the dead phone on the bed and wailed. There was so much more she wanted to say and she wasn't even sure that short message got through. _But if I wished hard enough for it… then it would reach them… right?_

Her eyes flew open. Yes. How could she forget? Her wishes had power here.

The spectral image of Van's mother flashed in her mind. She should be careful of what she wished for. She should also be watchful of her anxieties. But those were natural feelings, how could she ever control them?

 _No… it's alright_ , she thought. She didn't have the power anymore. She lost it as she made her way back to Earth. _That should make it a lot easier. Still…_ She became strangely aware of the pendant on her chest. Was she imagining the warmth? With a hammering heart, she hurried to pull it out of her shirt and off, and throw it into her bag, not daring to even look at it. Then she spread out on the bed for a while, her eyes still watering.

Until something moved at the edge of her vision. She had her head at the foot of the bed, so it was from the direction of the door.

Before she could turn or sit up to check it, a heart-shaped face framed by pink hair and prominent ears came into view.

"Well, who do we have here?" the dark blue eyes with cat-like irises looked almost frightening for a second. Her first impulse was to sit up (and headbutt the intruder, if her reflexes weren't quick enough). Instead, she sank deeper into the bed.

"M… Merle? Is that you?"

"Hello there, crybaby. When you left, you were crying too. Have you spent all this time crying?"

Definitely Merle. _Hello, kitty_ , she thought. The already lame joke was lost entirely on this planet.

"Ha, there's a better expression!"

She started sitting up, so the catgirl moved out of the way.

Hitomi eyed her curiously. "You have grown… physically, anyway." It was true; the little catgirl she remembered was almost a catwoman now. She was taller, shapely but firm, and unsurprisingly possessed the same type of elegance she witnessed in Naria and her sister. Her salmon-colored hair had grown (she realized briefly some of her classmates would kill to reach that shade) and she decorated it with a few braids with beads and thin ribbons woven in. Her outfit was highly functional, but she couldn't give up several trinkets on her neck, hands, and feet.

She was becoming quite beautiful, Hitomi noted, but her facial expressions still gave her cheeky, if not straight-out childish attitude away.

Meanwhile, Merle found her phone on the bed and poked at it, managing to flip it open and closed a few times. Then she seemed to conclude that it was not worthy of her attention and she threw it back, breaking the momentary silence. "Yeah. So what have you been up to? Besides crying, I mean."

"Oh, nothing much. Just trying to become an adult, you should try that sometime."

"Look who's talking," Merle mocked. "Doesn't look too much like you succeeded."

She wanted to tell her she was a college student now and living on her own, but on second thought, she left that be. It was unlike Merle to be interested in such things, or to change her mind once made up.

"So what have _you_ been up to, Merle? I see you still go wherever Van goes."

"True. It's not just for my sake, though. Someone needs to make sure he eats properly and takes care of himself."

"But it's not quite safe for you here, is it?" Hitomi asked, recalling her previous experiences.

Merle shrugged, "The war is raging on if you haven't noticed. It's dangerous anywhere."

"Yes, I talked to Allen." More sadness entered her mind as she heard about the beautiful world being torn apart by war.

The catgirl looked at her seriously. "How did you get back here, anyway, Hitomi?"

She sighed in defeat. "I don't know."

"How can _you_ not know? No horrible visions? No cryptic Atlantean words?"

 _No, just a… feather. Which could have been my imagination._

"I got into a… life-threatening situation myself back home. Next thing I knew, I was landing in the middle of a battlefield. If it weren't for Allen and Van, I would have been kidnapped, or worse."

"And for the record," she added after a few breaths, "I haven't had a single vision since I left Gaea. For all I know, my powers are gone."

Merle scrunched her face up. "Strange. If you are here, I would certainly say it's so that your powers can help us finally win this cursed war… oh wait, you wouldn't want to help."

Hitomi felt her agitation grow at the mention of that old conflict. "What I didn't want were those violent visions, there's a difference! I never said I didn't want to help you. I just couldn't bear those terrible feelings." _The responsibility for the fate of my friends and their whole world._

"If you…"— _No, don't ask that,_ thought Hitomi— "had your powers now, would you use them to help us? If requested to?"

Hitomi stood up, her head hung low. "I can't say. I don't even remember what it's like having those powers. Back home, I am just a normal person." _Can't you see? Can't you see I could also ruin everything?_

She refused to look up. There was a long moment of silence, before Merle chided loudly, "Oh wow, Hitomi, you look traumatized. I was not serious, for goodness sake. You don't have to worry. Allen will keep you safe and certainly wouldn't ask that of you. And if you think Van would, well, yeah, think again. Things have changed around here, but you probably need to see it for yourself."

Hitomi just nodded numbly. Merle with her sharp tongue sure knew how to push people's buttons. Which she only got better at, from what she could tell. Hitomi hated to be so affected by it, but this was a sore spot for her. She could not joke about this, no way…

"So what now, leaving for Asturia, I hear?" the catgirl asked, sitting down languidly on the cot.

"Yes, I am supposed to stay with Princess Millerna for a while."

"Oh? It's been a while since I saw her. Actually, I have some business in Asturia as well." There was a knock on the door. Hitomi felt her heart jump irrationally and wondered if she would ever feel safe somewhere on this planet.

"Gaddes? You are coming as if on cue," Merle said when he appeared in the doorframe. "May I hitch a ride?" She took a jug of water out of the surprised sergeant's hands.

"Sure, if Lady Hitomi doesn't mind sharin' this cabin?" he smiled crookedly at Hitomi. She sensed a bit of sympathy from his gesture.

"Uh? No, not really."

"What the hell's with that 'not really'? I'll take the bench, no worries. Care if I take the nice blanket, though? Oh, I thought you wouldn't. You still have the sheet and the pillow." Merle said before Hitomi could even shut her half-open mouth.

"Goodnight then, ladies." The sergeant closed the door slowly.

"Thank you for the water, Gaddes."

"Ni—ght," Merle half-yawned. She proceeded to wet her paws in the water and clean herself in a somewhat… catlike manner. She was down in minutes. Hitomi followed suit, washing her hands, face and her mouth, then curled up under the sheet, wondering how long until her bodily exhaustion won over her mind's restlessness.

* * *

 **Heya dear readers! Hope you have all been well. Thank you for every review, fav and follow you honored me with. I'm so glad a couple of people like the story already, despite me being kind of secretive about where it's going. I made a longer post on my tumblr about this, but I decided not to tag characters and/or pairings because I'm actually attempting to give plotlines to all of them and well… to maintain some sense of mystery and intrigue. I can only say that some pairings will be surprising, some less so, some have good times ahead and others, unfortunately, won't get their perfect happily ever after. But such is life. And such is Esca, one of the reasons we like it so much, right?**

 **Anyway, I'm slowly getting around to posting some illustrations for this story on the visarcana tumblr. The first chapter accompanied by a sketch of Hitomi is up already and the one for the second is not too far behind. I hope I can do at least a little sketch for each of the chapters, but well… let's see how that goes.**

 **Next chapter, we will finally introduce an original (side) character to the stage, so that should be a bit of a change!**

Chapter notes:

My biggest worry about this chapter is that I've overdone it with Merle. Similar to last chapter and Allen, I went with this deep flashback-y contemplation which may not be entirely fitting to her age and character. It would have been better to dose it piece by piece over the course of a few chapters, but I just realized I don't have another Merle POV bit planned yet for… quite a long time. It is hard to write on the go because you still kind of have to think ahead and yet you don't know where the story will take you in the future. Meanwhile, the novelists can move whole chapters around before they publish. I had to do what I needed to do right now just in case there won't be another chance.

Anyway, Merle is quite perceptive and wise for her age in the series, so I may not be that off with it and she may be a mature teenager. Despite the hate she is sometimes getting, this 12-13 (sources vary) year old girl is often the voice of reason and almost impossible to fool. I also headcanon she got educated alongside Van or at least caught something in secret. I think she would grow up smart. Yeah well, I just love Merle.

Same as Gaddes, whom I would like to make more important somehow. But you know, he is such a chill guy he just gladly gives the spotlight to others, some of them far less deserving. I guess he just feels best on the sidelines, doesn't he?

An important thing I wanted to focus on this chapter was Hitomi's mental condition, her anxiety about her powers and her self-loathing. This may give you a hint of how I translated her return home in episode 23 – not only did she return, but everything got reversed – including her powers, which she did not want anymore. So at this point of the story, she simply does not have them. That should make her journey a bit different, right? Her strange abilities were a too prominent trait that overshadowed everything else. I wanted to focus on other things instead, so I made her a bit more ordinary. Her depressive thoughts are a nod to the movie (and also a result of not properly coming to terms with Gaea).

Meanwhile, Van tries to bear the "karma of war" as he swore to if you remember (our king is such a drama queen sometimes). The responsibility of being a symbol of hope and victory in a way shifted from Hitomi to him (and Escaflowne) now. Which is about a load of some guy named Atlas. And as you can see through Merle's eyes, it is wearing him down. I have no excuse; sooner or later you would have found anyway, that I have almost zero limits of what suffering I can put the characters through.

 _ **Writing these notes I just realized some major topics of the fic are being established in this chapter. Curious to hear what your thoughts are! And I hope to see you next time.**_

 _~ Rin_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter version: 1.0 [beta-read by Blue Funk]**

 _Chapter 4_

The smell of incense started to fill the room as Hitomi knelt on the velvet cushion in front of the home altar. She had been occupying her grandmother's house for a few months already, but this was the first time she had opened it and tried to pray.

The _official_ reason she lived here now was that it was closer to her college campus and she could use it to study in peace, away from her annoying teenage brother and his loud friends. The house was empty anyway, like many of the older traditional homes in this part of town. There simply weren't enough people willing to move in.

Even if it wasn't so, her mother probably wouldn't bring herself to sell it. Hitomi understood why. The house of her grandparents held so many memories, she felt like the spirit of the family rested there. It felt wrong somehow that anybody else would make it their home.

The idea to move in there had been Hitomi's, but she had only told her parents after she alone had secretly made the house ready for it. She had inconspicuously stolen the keys and cleaned the place bit by bit, rearranging the furniture around to suit more to her needs.

She felt no small sense of accomplishment as she had shown the sparkly clean and aired out rooms to her parents. They had, in fact, noticed the missing keys and joked about their suspicions of her sneaking out here with her secret boyfriend. She could not exactly tell if they were relieved or disappointed that it had not been the case. When she asked her parents for permission to partly move in there, it felt nostalgic… almost sad, really. Even if it was just in another part of the same town, she was leaving the proverbial nest. But given her hard work on this project, they had no choice but to accept.

Later, when they had been alone, her mother had scolded her for not telling her about her plans or letting her help out, but Hitomi knew that part of her good feeling about this was doing this all on her own. The place grew on her all the more. She loved the tatami flooring and the traditional paper doors opening to reveal the wooden terrace and the small, presently rather unkempt, but still beautiful and calm garden.

Like many older houses, this one still had a spectacular Buddhist altar hidden in one of the closets of the house. The very one she was sitting in front of. When you moved the paper doors out of the way, you found something like an ornate cabinet decorated with detailed carvings. Inside of it, there were several tablets and other objects, which had all once been magic to little Hitomi's eyes. A few framed, black and white photos had been placed inside as well. The newest one stood out as it was in color, depicting a traditionally dressed woman.

 _Grandma Yuri._

She remembered her, sitting just where Hitomi was now, praying for the souls of her late husband and ancestors and talking to them. Hitomi felt ashamed of herself when she realized that no one was here to do the same for her. Not too often, at least. The Kanzakis had their own place of remembrance in the house, but it was far less fancy and important looking. Spirituality simply did not play a role such as it did once and Hitomi was sure it was not just her family's case. The prayer was not widely practiced in homes anymore.

This seemed like a good moment to do so, though. It was often in hard and decisive times that even the less religious people remembered their praying sites. For some reason, it felt like such a time for Hitomi, even though she was not entirely sure why. Could be her instinct kicking in again. She felt like something had to change, and soon. Maybe it was her impending graduation or Yukari's marriage. But something was coming… and for some reason, an inner turmoil had settled in her heart. Which was another reason to bring her in front of the altar.

If it had been a few years ago, she would have just reached for her tarot cards instead, but those were safely locked away in her desk drawer back home. As she had moved in her grandma's house, she decided to leave them there. It only seemed fit for them to remain in that room. It was a room of a naïve, teenage girl, with an odd interest in the arcane arts. She even got some decorations for the theme. The cards just belonged there, in her childhood's haven. She couldn't stay there forever.

And maybe it was better that way. Better that they were out of her reach. After the dream, she had stopped reading fortunes, no matter how her much classmates pestered her about it. But tonight, tonight she might have given in to the temptation...

Hitomi sounded the metal bowl serving as a bell, clearing her mind. She did not know any mantras and she could not personally remember the people in the photos. She still directed them all a small prayer. But it was the woman with kind green eyes she wished she could talk to, not for the first time in her life.

And once, she dreamt she had, even if just for a while. She had overcome the veil between life and death then, just one in the row of other fantastic events. Was there even a drop of reality to it? Did she and Yuri share more than the similar features? She may never know. Her grandma was no longer there and only silence would be her answer. Perhaps she even deserved it for keeping silent herself. She never told anyone about her dream of Gaea, not even her own mother or Yukari.

 _Grandma, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you sooner,_ Hitomi started her mental monologue. _I'm doing fine. I finished my exams and I'm going on a trip around the country with my friends starting tomorrow. Mamoru is energetic as ever. Mom and dad are not too happy with me living here, but I really like it,_ she paused.

 _You led a good life in this place, didn't you? I know you can't answer me right now, but you are the only one who ever could, I think… Sometimes, I wonder why you gave me that pendant and the tarot cards, grandma… isn't it a strange gift, to a child? Why you told me all about wishes... Have you ever… had an experience which you could not tell was real? What did you do about it? Were you happy with the simple life you led? Maybe I should be, too. Or should I seek something more? I stopped reading fortunes, but now I just feel like I'm unable to make a decision. Moving on or staying put. I don't even know which is which. And whatever I do, I feel like I'm throwing another future away. Where do I go from now on?_

The praying girl took a long breath in and sighed when her senses didn't catch anything supernatural. She smiled sadly. Maybe she should just not fight the river flow for now. It would surely take her somewhere.

 _I guess I need to figure that one out alone, don't I?_ she smiled sadly. _I'm sorry for making this all about myself. Thank you grandma, for everything. Stay well. And say hi to granddad for me._

Hitomi rang the bell a second time, bowed with her hands clasped in front of her face, and stood up resolutely from her kneeling position. There was not much time to spare; she needed to finish packing.

She resolutely opened the sliding door on the other side of the room which led to another closet. This one was packed with things, the shelves reaching all the way up to the ceiling. Only a few of them were being used by Hitomi, others were still full of old stuff. Now, where did she put it? The foldable raincoat she was supposed to take on her trip tomorrow? It had to be here somewhere… she dug around her piles of clothes without success.

The bottom area where the beddings were normally stored used to be her favorite hiding place as a child. If it had been empty, it would be still big enough for her to stand in, even today. She pulled out the futon she was going to sleep on later and climbed on the rest of the pile, peeking up on the top shelf.

Only the many boxes left by her grandmother came into view. Probably some of her belongings that her family wanted to keep. She had never paid them much attention until now. Their mystery pulling her in, Hitomi reached for them, even though she knew there was something else she was supposed to be doing right now.

Curiously, like when she was a kid, she opened the neat, colorful paper boxes one after another. Some held the fancier _furisodes_ of her grandmother and other articles of clothing. In others, she found pieces of memorabilia: postcards, praying sheets, and photos which hadn't made it into albums. She recognized the case with the umbilical cord of her mother and put it aside with a mildly disgusted smile. Finally, she grabbed a long, slim box, originally from some flat summer sandals. She opened it and gasped, almost dropping it from her now shaking hands. The box held nothing but a paper windmill. It lay in its small paper casket like a dead flower, buried among other memories. But Hitomi knew it was not just any pinwheel. And it proved… it _further_ proved…

The dream Hitomi had had as a high school freshman was so fantastical, one could easily disregard it as a hallucination. A fever dream.

But it had held some connection to reality.

According to that dream, the pendant she had received from her grandmother with a set of tarot cards, the one she even now wore around her neck… The tarot cards had been bought in Yokohama, but the pendant was supposed to have come from that other planet. It had been made in the mythical Atlantis, here on Earth, but found its way into a lone wanderer's hands. And her grandmother, who had traveled to the other planet, received it from him as a parting gift. After centuries, the pendant had returned to Earth with a young maiden from Kamakura by the name of Yuri Hoshino.

She remembered her grandmother as she had seen her in her vision. Clad in a deep-blue _yukata_ , eyes so much like her own… and in her hand, a pinwheel which spun fast in the freezing winds of the arctic continent. With careful fingers, Hitomi pulled it out of its resting place, her heart beating audibly in her chest.

 _Wait…_ she remembered now. In that dream, young Yuri had gifted the object to Leon Schezar. If it was here, in the closet, it meant it hadn't been real. Her grandmother had never been on that planet. Neither had she. Her heart sunk a little. Strange, she had thought she had reconciled with that conclusion a long time ago.

But then, how did Hitomi know about the pinwheel's existence? Had she seen it at some point as a child and her overactive fantasy produced all the rest? Something inside her stubbornly resisted the idea… Just on a whim, she blew on the pinwheel softly to make it spin in front of her eyes. Except, instead of slowing down after a few seconds, it gained speed. Spinning much too fast for it to be of her own doing anymore. Tumultuous winds started to blow the scene away, finally taking the windmill apart, its fragile blades torn and whisked away, the wooden stick slipping out from her numb hand. All that was left was Hitomi. And darkness.

 _Alone._ She let out a scream. She didn't want to be alone. _Somebody… anyone!_ Something cracked and let the light in. Alien light. Pictures. And sounds. All assaulting her at once.

 _Hundreds of voices whispering. Extended hands that could not touch. Thick smoke in the dark. Heavy footsteps of giants. Seconds counted by a pendant swing. Sword cutting through thin air. Blood drop hitting a crystal. Falling feathers. Dragon's roar that neatly bled into sirens and the screech of another—huge and mechanical—beast._

Hitomi's eyes snapped open in the dim light.

 _Just a nightmare._

It took a moment to recognize her surroundings. The shadows thrown by the energist lamp had grown darker and longer, trembling in the night air. Hitomi felt its flow on the moist portion of her skin, an uncomfortable reminder of her equally unpleasant dream. She sat up and rubbed her sore neck. All the frills did, in fact, little to make the cot into a real bed. More importantly, an anxious feeling had settled in her gut. It looked like the short and light sleep had brought just another disturbance to her worried soul.

Her eyes quickly scanned Merle's sleeping form. The catgirl still slept curled on one side, just like she remembered. She did not seem to be roused by Hitomi's movements. And she was going to have to fidget more, Hitomi thought. Her bladder would not be ignored any longer.

She recalled Gaddes' warning not to leave the ship, but she really didn't feel like using the "hell hole" that she remembered was situated in some dark remote corner of the Crusade. They used it on long flights, and she suspected it just led to a container or simply released its foul contents out right in mid-air. She felt her stomach turn thinking of the thing and felt stupid for not taking care of her problem while the sun was still up. Yet she would definitely rather risk leaving the ship and getting down to business somewhere in the shrubbery.

Maybe she should have woken Merle and asked her to go along… but imagining the grumbling she would probably be subjected to, she decided not to. She pulled out the light jacket she had packed for the trip and took extra care closing the cabin door as silently as possible. It took her a while to find the way out of the ship, but luckily for her, the loading bridge had been left open, guarded only by a snoring duo. She did not inspect them closer, just walked out as quickly and silently as possible.

Hitomi sauntered a bit to the side of the camp, trying to find a recluse enough place and be done with her problem as soon as possible. She found it between the leviship platform and the guymelef hangar, the shrubbery providing enough privacy for her current needs. When she was done, she wiped her hands on the dewy grass and dried them with her quickly waning supply of paper handkerchiefs. She had to wince at the prospect of hygiene she was going to have here, at least until she got to Millerna's palace.

Aside from that, the night scenery was as beautiful as she remembered. The gigantic double moons hung in the star-filled sky, speaking to her strangely. It was so surreal that one of them held her home, the people she loved, and her whole life. So what was she doing here? On this planet which was invisible to the people of Earth, the space agencies and their telescopes? She sighed, turning her attention back to the ground. She should be heading back.

 _However…_ Her gaze was pulled to the hangar, feeling a strange urge to go and see Escaflowne. If it had been a few years prior, she would have even thought it was the guymelef itself which called to her. She did not believe that now, but still. The machine seemed to be the key to many things; Zaibach wanted it, same as it had wanted her once. And maybe she would even find a certain someone there, since he never seemed to stray too far away from it. Someone who she felt could provide some answers, because, well, she knew who brought her to this planet the first time around. And the feeling that he was in danger still nagged at her. If anything, it was only reinforced by that dream that had plagued her earlier.

Hitomi approached the structure and saw the dark outlines of a handful of Alliance soldiers, looking into the night. She also spotted Escaflowne at the far end of the row of seated giants. The white armor was hard to miss with its unusual shapes. There was someone perched on its leg, working. Not the one she had expected, though. But the guards just ignored him, so she decided he wasn't dangerous.

The young man had dirty-blonde hair, tied up partly in a tiny ponytail. He wore the Alliance uniform, but in a very casual way: the coat unbuttoned, the sleeves and pant legs rolled up, with heavy lace-up boots on his feet. A pair of protective goggles were pushed up high on his forehead, lifting part of his fringe and revealing a strangely shaped scar… no, it was a symbol. She was strangely reminded of the men she saw in Freid and the jewels they wore embedded between their eyebrows. She was so consumed with scrutinizing the stranger that she failed to notice the guards moving… and discovering her, without much effort.

They pointed lances at her immediately, grouping around her.

"What do we have here?" one of them drawled, observing her from head-to-toe. His dialect was different from Asturians or Fanelians.

"I… think it's a girl, chief! Don't get fooled by her hair," another provided seriously.

The rest of them, including 'the chief,' rolled their eyes.

"Aren't you cold, little girl? That's one hell of a strange outfit, for a lady. Are you one of Lamirna's?"

She was too terrified by the lances they still pointed at her to answer.

The mechanic she had observed earlier appeared behind them and met Hitomi's eyes. "She's a new waitress; Lamirna got her from the East. She probably doesn't even understand you with your crappy Daedali."

"A waitress?"

Hitomi nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving the guy's. They seemed curious and quite playful, adding to his boyish appearance.

"Are you lost, little one? I'll walk you back to the Linen Tavern, what do you say?" the blonde offered.

Once again, she nodded dumbly. Between these lechers and the guy whom Van trusted enough to work on Escaflowne, the choice was clear.

"We'll be seeing you around, then. Can't wait to get served!" The men let out gruff laughs but she felt relief that they made no move to interfere.

Her savior wiggled past the circle around her and dragged her with him towards Escaflowne.

"Let me just gather my things and we'll be on our way, alright?"

"Thanks for your help," she said, only loud enough for the man to hear as they walked.

"Before I say 'you're welcome,' why don't you tell me what you are doing here? Hope I didn't just become an accomplice to a Zaibach spy… or an assassin."

She did not know what to say, so she tried to turn the question around. "That's what _I_ wanted to ask. This is the guymelef of the king of Fanelia."

Cyrien's eyebrows shot up at the poor evasive maneuver. He chuckled lowly.

"You don't say, miss! I must have forgotten. I just do random maintenance for other people's guymelefs. And the nice guards let me."

"Very funny. The king seriously lets you repair Escaflowne? I find that hard to believe."

"Well, it took a lot of coaxing on my part; I had to use nearly all my charms," the man winked. "But I know a thing or two about this beauty," he patted the plating almost affectionately, "and that's what mattered in the end. I'm Cyrien. A former monk of Tonatis, currently serving under the King of Fanelia."

 _Tonatis?_ That told her nothing.

"I'm K…" she hesitated on whether to tell him her full name like she had intended… "Kanna. From Fanelia," she chose, deciding it was the most fitting choice considering what she had said until then. And for what she had planned next.

"So, how can I help you, Miss Kanna?"

"I need to see… King Van. Can you bring me to his tent?"

The man whistled. "Many girls would like that, but few would be so straightforward."

Hitomi frowned. "You seem to misunderstand. We are old friends and I need to talk to him."

"Su—re," Cyrien drawled. "Listen, miss, the king doesn't have many friends. And definitely not strangely… and sparsely… dressed female ones. Aren't you cold, by the way?"

 _Damn the jean shorts. And damn Gaea with their medieval thoughts of women covering themselves._ Hitomi just knew she was going to have a hard time here, but like last time, she wasn't going to let that interfere with her closet too much. But perhaps some of the alternatives in her duffel would make people here see her as more of a human being. She should look into that. She should have already, in fact; her legs were freezing.

"Do not take this the wrong way, but I don't care about your opinion all that much. Just help me find the king's tent, please."

"Even if what you're saying is true, I would not recommend that. If he's still awake, he would be grumpy this time of the day, even more so than usual. Besides, he doesn't like pushy girls. Or dealing with girls in general, on second thought."

She rolled her eyes. "Just bring me to his tent and leave the rest to me."

The man sighed. "Please, listen to me. It's not like you aren't pretty. I actually kinda like you, so I don't want you to be humiliated. I saw the king so drunk once, his head was dropping to the table. But even in that state, when one o' the local girls tried to slip her hand down his shirt… I honestly thought she was gonna lose it. I've met priests less… uptight, in these matters."

"Now you are making things up. He does not drink." _Van, drinking in some dubious tavern? Forget it._

"Everyone drinks here. It's one of the few things that can keep you going. And the king just willingly gives up on the others," the former monk said thoughtfully.

Hitomi didn't know how to respond to that. Instead, she asked: "What about you, Cyrien? Any luck with the 'local girls'?"

He shrugged. "Well, what can I say…? Even as a _former_ man of faith, it's my duty to help the poor souls. I offer spiritual services."

"Spiritual services, you say. And what services do they offer you in return?"

"Even those of low morals can become good friends," he chided. "And if a friend does not show them the light, who will…? But I don't think it's appropriate to discuss my relations with women of such business with a lady… plus, a lady I just met."

She felt blush upon her cheeks. Damn that man. How did he manage to get her into this small teasing game? And to embarrass her? His innocent looking, almost childish face was misleading, she realized. "You don't have to answer, you know…"

He chuckled. "Let me just say that as a brother sworn, technically, I should not take a wife. But that also technically that means there is no marriage to save myself for. I am not oblivious to womanly charms, you know?"

"Still, you would deny a 'not unpretty' girl a favor? One you kinda like?" Hitomi looked up at him innocently. She was not going to lose this.

Cyrien smiled broadly. "Oh, you totally got me there, miss. Are you sure you are not a cunning spy?"

"Well, are you going to help or should I try alone?!"

"Fine, fine…" he raised his arms in defeat. "Wouldn't want you to wander around like this all by yourself. It's not quite safe. And if you were indeed the king's friend, he would have my head if something happened to you. I am done anyway. Nice and shiny again." The blonde climbed down the guymelef and crouched down to a messy leather file full of drawings, notes, and plans, trying to straighten them.

"Did you… draw these?" Hitomi asked. She had noticed the pile earlier. They looked like technical drawings. Of Escaflowne? And unlike the pile itself, they were anything but messy. She was starting to understand the connection between Van and this guy. "Is that Escaflowne?"

"Yeah, they're mine. Not just of Escaflowne, though. I have a mild obsession with… how things work, you see?"

"So, are you a guymelef mechanic?"

"I wouldn't say that. I call myself… an appreciator, maybe."

"Are you a friend of the king's? How did you two meet?"

"Ah, it's quite a boring story." As he stood up, she noticed he had a few freckles scattered around the root of his nose. Which must have been one of the reasons he looked so young. But his age was hard to guess. "I got recruited … rather forcefully into Basram army. However, I am not quite cut out for discipline. And not at all cut out for a war. But, if there is something that interests me, it's those…" he motioned his hand in a broad swipe, gesturing to the seated guymelefs. "Aren't they amazing? I served on a leviship, which was a dream come true itself. But I always snuck out to admire and sketch some of these babes in the hangar."

Hitomi couldn't really understand the fascination with things meant for killing, but she had to admit guymelefs were pretty impressive. She had heard once that it took decades to build one. On Gaea, they were probably on the top of the technology tree, along with said leviships.

"Do you pilot one?"

"I do have a melef now, but only thanks to the king. It was a dead Fanelian general's, but I was able to repair it. Otherwise, I would be scrubbing the ship floors or marching on the battlefield as a pikeman."

Hitomi didn't know the exact difference between the guymelef and melef, but remembering the battles she had witnessed in the past, she imagined melef was just the smaller, less complicated version of what Van or Allen were piloting. Anyway, the whole story was quite surprising to hear. She didn't really see Van practicing small acts of philanthropy before.

"How did that happen?"

"When I heard we were going to carry Escaflowne for a while, I was beside myself with excitement. King Van might be a bit famous now, but this girl is what's truly legendary. For centuries. It is mentioned in some of the oldest history books."

"You like history books?"

"Not particularly, but I write them. I mean, rewrite and illustrate them. Or used to. As an orphan, I was accepted into an order of fighting monks in Basram. We went down in history, but as decades passed, history forgot us. We haven't been fighting for a long time, but we were still good to make some prettier copies of famous books for rich folks' bragging needs. That, and grow cabbage. Until the progressive republicans came and thought we still had some riches from our old fighting days. The Republic banned the order, took its lands, and scattered the brotherhood."

Cyrien paused then, his eyes downcast.

"That must have been tough," she said softly.

"Well, suddenly, I was out on the streets. I didn't have anything, but was lucky enough to survive. I was painting portraits of whoever had some coins to spare in Heliopoli. Then the war came. And after a while, nobody was too young, too weak, or too untrained to be a soldier. So I just became that. After some time, I was serving on one of Basram's leviships..."

She vaguely remembered Basram as one of the more militarily advanced countries from the time they had sent their machinery to defend Palas. That had been right before she left for Earth.

"So, when this legendary guymelef I read about in the chronicles came on board, I just had to see it with my own eyes. They wrote songs about it and the heroic Fanelian kings. Fanelia used to be pretty important, you know. Asturia or Zaibach were nothing at the time. But that was covered by dust and sand, as well. Anyway, I had to at least see it... so did its rightful owner at some point, though."

"Let me guess, he drew a sword on you," Hitomi mumbled, mostly to herself.

"Oh, I might owe you an apology, you really do seem to know him. I thought I was so dead. But he did take note of my drawings — why, of course, I had to sketch it… he asked stuff… I answered. And he seemed impressed by my knowledge. So that's how it came to be. He actually proceeded to ask my higher-ups to release me from their service, so he could take me into his. A disposable footman such as me, that was no trouble at all."

"I see…" She wondered if this guy was just a new servant of Van's, or if he actually managed to make a friend. That would have been the more unexpected option, but this Cyrien seemed to have a laid-back nature that could help to overcome the status gap. She just did not know if it was enough to get past Van's antisocial attitude. Hitomi knew very well how hard that could be.

"You still have not told me who you are," her companion startled her… "Because I don't think you are one of Lamirna's."

"And what do you think?"

"That's a tough one," he scratched his chin. "I know a lot of Gaean countries, but your strange looks, the excuse for pants…"

"Excuse _you!_ "

"…I wonder if it has anything to do with the light pillar I saw today?" he laughed.

She could not believe her ears. Why had he been playing with her until now, then?!

"Seems like you enjoy games," she grumbled. "Did Van tell you?"

"Oh, whoa there. No, he would not. But then, I'm not on first name terms with him," he winked. Hitomi got cranky. This guy seemed too much of a smartass for his own good. She could not decide if she liked talking to him or not. True, she was the first one to lie about her identity, but… she did it for her safety, he could at least understand that…

"Let's see if my assumption is correct. Here we are, my lady. His Majesty seems to be awake," he said in a subdued voice. Yeah, she could see the light through the canvas herself. "I suggest you let me go in first."

She shrugged, getting cold and impatient. "Whatever."

"Please stay close."

Well, that's what she intended to do. The camp didn't feel safe at all.

"Your Majesty, it's Cyrien. May I come in?"

"What is it?"

Hitomi frowned. She could hear everything through the flap, so what was the fuss about anyway? _Don't forget to kiss his royal behind_ , she sighed inwardly.

"Nothing much. I'm done with Escaflowne. But there is a woman requesting your company. I warned her against that, but she would not budge."

"Fetch me those," she heard Van say. There was a moment of silence as the other man probably handed something to him. "Wait. What kind of woman?"

"A strangely dressed one, with short hair. Says her name's Kanna or something. Are you alright, my lord? There was no damage to the mechanism. I fixed the crack with the liquid metal. It's not yspanium, but I thought the new formula worked better, in fact."

"Yeah. Yeah…" she heard the king sigh, "I can tell. Good job."

"What about the girl?"

"Tell her to wait. I will fix myself up and walk her back to wherever she came from."

 _Not before I'm done talking to you_ , thought Hitomi and stepped inside the tent without invitation. It was spacious but furnished only by a bed, table and chairs set, some variation of a valet stand and a chest. An energist lamp hanging on the center pillar revealed Van sitting half-sprawled on a chair, his long linen shirt undone and rumpled on the bottom, the picture finished by a half-drunk bottle of wine and half-eaten tray of food on the roughly made wooden table next to him. On the other side of the tent, there was some sort of a wooden basin just big enough for a man to sit in. She realized it was for bathing and all of a sudden felt relieved she didn't come earlier. Her unannounced entry could have turned out way more embarrassing.

It was enough that he was in his… nightclothes, or so she gathered. She understood now why the shirt seemed so overly long. It looked like he put his fitted black pants back on moments before she entered. His feet were bare and his hair also seemed half-wet and disheveled now that she got a better look at him _—_ but in her defense, that posed no big difference from the usual. Especially in the poor light.

She really had the most inappropriate ideas sometimes. It was too late for a casual visit, why had she not realized this before? Van's vicinity was no longer a safe ground like it used to be. What had she been thinking?! How did she forget the cold man that greeted her earlier today so quickly? Did she expect him to magically change and be charming and pleasant? Or at least simple and honest like the boy she used to know? But what was done was done. And this could get only as awkward as she would let it.

"Ahh, miss, didn't I tell you to wait?" Cyrien moaned, clearing the tableware away. _You don't want to bait the dragon, do you?_ she translated from his expression.

Without paying him much heed, she turned her attention to the king. "Just a scratch? What happened?"

"Nothing that would concern you." He straightened a bit in the seat, shrugging his rough shirt more into its proper place. "What are you doing here, Hitomi? Does Allen know you wander around the camp at night?"

"I asked first. And I think it may concern me a little," said Hitomi, wondering where she was pulling the overbearing stubbornness out from. Her suspicion was that it simply appeared to mask her unease.

Van leaned back and closed his eyes in a surprisingly theatrical expression. "Cyro."

"Guess I can go now," the man chuckled, his eyes jumping between the two under his quirked eyebrows. He bowed comically with the loaded tray still in his hands. "I'll let myself out."

Hitomi didn't like that implication, but hoped at least talking would be easier without the company. She and the king used to have short moments of casual understanding, despite his short temper. Of course, this was a different situation, and maybe they had even become different people. She still hoped they could build on those moments, not on the feuds that remained between them.

The other man left, but the awkwardness didn't. She still had to try.

"I know it's not an ideal time. But we are leaving tomorrow morning, and we need to talk."

He shrugged and motioned to the other chair, "Talk, then."

She chose to remain standing. "Why don't you tell me what happened first?"

"Nothing extraordinary, Escaflowne got a scratch in a bad moment, so I got one myself."

"This… this is still happening?! And you… fight all the time, or so I hear… How can you risk so much, Van?"

"Risk what else than the usual, exactly? And no, this happens occasionally, when I am forced to raise the synchronization a bit. Cyro fixes it up the best he can and it heals. Just slower than I'm used to."

"But if Escaflowne got some serious damage…"

"It won't! I told you, I have it under control," Van said resolutely. "And sit down already, if you are still going to talk. I don't feel like standing."

 _He cares about manners? In a rude, arrogant way of course, but still…_

She sat down on the second chair, intertwining her hands on her knees in front of her. "What was it that made you do it today? Raise the synchronization?" She didn't even know such a thing was possible. And she had been the one to introduce him to the trick. She didn't mean to, just tried to help. It ended up with him almost dying.

 _Twice_ in a _damn row_.

 _Hearing about this again is really reassuring_ , she winced inwardly.

"I got into a bit of trouble." _Like I did._ Echoed through her right away. She could not deny the strange bond between her and Escaflowne. The crystallized heart of the dragon and her pendant. Her and this world. She had to ask. Had to know why she was here.

"Do you… think that it could have anything to do with why I ended up here?" She dared to look at him, not failing to notice the way his lips tightened as she said it.

"No. If you think I would summon you or whatever… because of something so minor, no less…" His tone remained neutral, but she felt it was somewhat forced.

 _I'd like to see what's so minor._ She knew they were basically strangers now and it would be awkward having him strip before her, but knowing him, he probably underestimated the seriousness of his injury. She didn't know how to ask him to show it to her, though. "Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yes, I just patched it up. If I managed to hide it from Merle, it can't be serious, don't you think?"

"Still. You are hurt. Somebody should look at it…" she paused, "I know; why don't you come with us to Asturia? Princess Millerna can check you up."

"I can't make casual trips to Asturia, the battle is still going on!" She almost heard the wood protest as he white-knuckled the armrest. It looked like she was starting to grind his gears, as usual. And she returned that sentiment.

"Don't tell me you are going to fight tomorrow in your condition!" she grabbed the edge of the table and glowered at him in disbelief.

"What condition? Trust me, I've had worse."

"Can't you take a day off?" She never exactly liked the shrill quality that her voice acquired as she grew agitated. And by his expression, neither did he.

"This is a decisive battle. We need that victory, that village and that land to advance. Tomorrow, it could be all over."

"Then how come Allen…"

"Allen has his own missions in this war, which do not necessarily include spilling his blood on the battlefield. But I understand; he probably has his orders."

"And you? Who orders you to put yourself to danger?"

"That's enough," his tone lowered in warning. "Why are you here, anyway?"

Hitomi threw her hands in the air in a frustrated gesture. "That's what I'm trying to find out! I hoped you would be a bit helpful, to be honest."

"No… I mean, why you came to my tent. Is that why?"

"Oh." She felt embarrassed all of a sudden, but shook herself off in a breath. "I… had a dream, sort of."

That seemed to have caught his interest. Of course, her _powers_ always did. "What kind of a dream?"

 _If you expected one of my prophetic visions, you'll be disappointed,_ she thought. "I'm not sure it was to mean anything specific. Just left me with a bad feeling. I thought I should see you. I… felt you may be in danger."

"Did the dream involve Escaflowne or anything?" Van bent slightly towards her, incredulous.

"No… not really."

He still had his reddish eyes fixed on hers. She really forgot how unnerving he could get. "Then why do you think it's me who's in danger?"

 _Why, indeed…_ she staggered for a second, but caught herself successfully.

"That's tough math, Van. Allen is leaving with us tomorrow. You are going to a battle with an injury. Is there anyone else here I should be concerned about?"

"As far as I remember, you had concerns for just about anybody."

"Maybe, but most of the time, it was you who needed saving." He straightened back in an offended way; his frown deepening even more, if that was even possible. _Oops. Too soon._ That wasn't a wise thing to tell him even when they had been familiar with each other, not to mention someone who had become almost a stranger.

"You think I'm some weakling? Or a fool rushing to get myself killed?" His tone, while a lot less emotional than what she would have heard years ago, still confirmed she struck a nerve.

"No, but you are going too far, as usual!"

"You don't know that. It's been many colors and many battles since you left. Do you think I am the same as I was? That I can't take care of myself? As you can see yourself, I survived until now. I do not need your… _saving_." His distaste seemed to culminate in that word.

 _Male pride,_ she thought. _One of the most fragile things in universe._ But she hurried to make amends, intending to keep their relationship at least on a neutral and civil level.

"I know. Allen told me about Fanelia and all… I know you managed to do a lot more than just survive. But… think about it… why do you think I am here? And what about your injury? How exactly did you get it?"

"I told you, it will be healed by the morning. I do not have the demon blood for nothing…"

" _What_ will be healed by the morning?" Merle marched into the tent like a goddess of fury, her stance wide and her tail swishing from side to side. "Lord Van, what's wrong?"

"Merle?!" Hitomi exclaimed for the lack of a better reaction. She peripherally saw Van running his hand through his hair with a groan.

"I will get to you later, stupid girl. By the way, Allen is looking for you everywhere." Suddenly, Hitomi felt like mimicking the king's gesture.

"Go lie back, Lord Van. I'm going to take a look at your injury… please," she added, but only after a moment. It did little to make it sound less authoritative.

"Forget it. I took care of it," he scoffed.

"Cleaned, disinfected and dressed it? Or just drank wine?"

"Merle!" the king warned her through his teeth, his tone low.

"Forgive me, Your Majesty. I am just worried..."

"If there was something to be worried about, I would have told you." Hitomi's eyes followed that exchange curiously.

"You went to the meeting like that! Without treating it. And you kept it from me," the catgirl numbered her accusations.

"So _what_?!" Van barked intimidatingly, and while his voice sounded way more impressive now, Hitomi felt like he wasn't fooling anyone present. This was the exact same immature arrogance he demonstrated regularly during her last visit.

Merle didn't seem too fazed, either. "Of course, you know best, Your Majesty. But you know… I think I won't go to Asturia unless you let me see your wound. I'm gonna have to stay in this camp with you to make sure you're alright."

"Do you know what happens to this camp and everyone in it if we lose the battle?" he said as if to scare her.

"That doesn't change anything. You heard my terms."

"Fine… Fine! You will be the death of me…!" he hissed under his breath.

"I think you will manage that just well enough yourself, Lord Van!"

Hitomi watched them curiously while they seemed to have forgotten about her altogether. There was more familiarity in the way the two acted toward each other than the last time. The teenage catgirl dared much, telling her king off like that. She still used the formalities in her speech, something Hitomi never bothered with when it came to Van, who had been rude to her from day one. But Merle also went way farther crossing him. _Plus, she is here with him. Even in this dangerous place. Could it be… well, Merle is not a child anymore. Could there be more…?_

Meanwhile, the catgirl in question basically pushed her king to the edge of the bed, where he sat down. She spread out a pouch of supplies on the top of the linens and knelt on the ground next to him. Then, she cast his shirt aside and inspected the hastily dressed wound. The bandage wasn't soaked. Hitomi thought briefly that she should probably look away, but she was curious herself.

"The bleeding has stopped. Looks like you won't be needing stitches this time," Merle murmured and proceeded to rummage through the trunk next to the bed. Van's shirt was down again.

When the catgirl came back, Hitomi could not see much besides her back anymore, but she wasn't confident enough to come closer. The sharp smell of alcohol reached her nose. "I'm sorry," she heard Merle say, but she wasn't sure if it was supposed to be for the sting she was currently causing him or for doubting his words in the first place. "I'll wrap it back up now."

The catgirl worked quickly and efficiently, with trained skill. _She really is taking care of him,_ Hitomi thought. But she was not quite a servant. She could not put a name to their relationship. At one point, Van murmured something to the catgirl, freezing her in midst of a movement. She couldn't shake the feeling it was about her, because Merle looked at her at once, her eyes narrowing. It seemed like it was her turn, now.

The fiery-haired feline stood up and came to her, hands on her hips, her glare menacing. Hitomi felt like cowering.

"Now to you. I hoped you have learned something, but you are apparently even dumber than the last time. Going off on your own? At night? In this camp?"

"She was not all alone, Cyro brought her here," Van said lowly as he proceeded to stretch his legs carefully on the bed. Merle ignored that, her eyes still firmly planted on Hitomi, demanding an answer.

"I… I was just concerned… I had a nightmare. I didn't want to wake you."

"So much worry about good ol' Merle all of a sudden… I wouldn't want to know, right?" she added much more quietly.

 _What…?_ Hitomi felt herself coloring in anger.

"Sorry for intruding, Van." Allen entered the tent in his usual smooth way. "I heard the voices. Hitomi, don't wander off like that. I almost lost my mind. Is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry. I… just thought Van might be in danger," she explained, embarrassed.

"Van can take care of himself. Way better than you can in this place."

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Allen… you too, Merle… I didn't realize how risky it was. I promise I won't do something like that again," she kept her gaze down.

"I hope you'll remember that. This isn't the first time… What is wrong, anyway? Are you injured, Van?" Hitomi realized Allen dropped the official titles now that they were alone.

The king sighed, sounding tired. "For the last time, no. Now, shouldn't you all be on a ship somewhere?"

Allen's eyes scanned the three of them for a while. "Alright then. Let's go, girls."

"I'll stay," Merle announced. "Lord Van needs me."

"She is going," the king growled dismissively from the bed, without even looking at them. His arms were stubbornly crossed in front of his chest in his half-sitting, half-lying position.

The knight shrugged, "Well, suit yourselves."

"You said you would go if I let you make sure I'm fine, didn't you?" To be quite honest, Hitomi was amazed that Van chose to discuss this with the girl instead of straight out ordering her to go. Or yelling at her.

"Technically, I said I wouldn't go if you didn't…," Merle whined.

"Yeah, sorry, that works both ways," Van dismissed. "See you in Asturia."

They shared a look, but not even the catgirl could compete with the stubbornness of the man lying on the bed. "Fine. Let's go."

Allen walked them back to the ship, thankfully without incident. Hitomi was also glad he didn't scold her more. She knew she was being foolish, knew that even before the venture. She couldn't say if she was feeling better about the whole thing, but she gave up. There was no way she could help Van or the Allied army without her powers, anyway. And absolutely no chance she would change his mind.

She asked one more question, though, lying down in the darkness of the cabin.

"Why did you give up so easily, Merle? He is still doing these irresponsible things. Aren't you worried?"

"It's not like I can change anything, even if I stayed," the girl mumbled sleepily. "Or save him if he really got a serious injury. I can't help him right now. The only thing I can give Lord Van is trust."

 _Trust is not always going to save him,_ Hitomi thought but couldn't bring herself to say it. "I see," she sighed instead, closing her eyes.

* * *

 **Hello everybody! Rin here with the newest (and longest) chapter of Vis Arcana yet. I know it has taken quite long this time, but I have some good news to share as well. If you felt like the quality of the grammar & spelling this chapter was better than the previous ones, you would be right! It is thanks to the hard work by my beta-reader named Lera (or Blue Funk on FFN)! T** ** ** **hank you so much again for your ideas, skills and time!****** **Blue Funk has kindly gone through the first three chapters as well, so I have swapped them for the new and improved versions.**

 **I wanted to thank my loyal and new reviewers and readers, too. You have given me some really kind and heartwarming words last chapter, and I appreciate every one of them. As always, a few more ideas and doodles can be found on the visarcana tumblr. Please do not hesitate to throw your thoughts at me, anywhere, in any way you prefer. I love to read them.**

Chapter notes:

The first scene is partly a real memory, partly the dream Hitomi had. I'll leave to your imagination where exactly the memory ends and the dream starts.

We have the first Gaean OC in the game! Cyrien is a character I created mostly to give Van a close male friend to hang out with. Poor guy needs at least that to have some sense of normalcy in his relationships. Cyro here is supposed to be a bit of a genius, but also quite a bit of a weirdo. He simply has his quirks, especially when social skills are involved. I could not make Allen and Van into besties at this point, and I also believe it would be difficult for the two of them even in, you know, the canon timeline after the end of the series. Here, I'm giving them even more reasons to... not get past their rivalry so quickly.

I must say it is not easy creating characters for this series, because you already have all kinds of types in there (especially the boys). Maybe that's why it's sometimes titled a 'male harem', even though most of those people are not romantically involved with Hitomi at all? There will still be a few more OCs later, but I really had to give them hard thought after I realized that I was just creating another Dryden or Gaddes. That, and I am not too great at creating OCs anyway, so I'll try to limit them to a minimum.

Basram (where Cyrien comes from) is the only one of the Alliance countries which is a republic. Besides that, there is about two more piece of information available regarding this country. So yeah, I'm taking some liberties.

The Van – Hitomi scene was a hard one to write. I know people who had been reading since the beginnings were probably looking forward to it, but I felt like it may not fulfill their expectations with all that awkwardness and arguing. But this is where we stand now. Wonder what you thought of it?

I also did not make Van into this untouchable mysterious dark cold guy, because he is still a kid and I simply don't believe he could have changed that much in the few years that have passed. Meaning, he will be a real brat at times and you may want to whack him on his head on several instances. And then hug him, maybe. Consider yourselves warned.

 _ **Next chapter, let's take a look what has been going on in Asturia. Palas ahoy!**_

 _~ Rin_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter version: 1.0. [Beta-read by Blue Funk]**

 _Chapter 5_

Millerna's heart beat almost as fast as the horse hooves against the cobblestones. She did not know why she had agreed to this, put herself through this mortification. Or she did. She wanted to meet her prospective fiancé outside the pretenses of the court. Still, that didn't explain her nervousness. She was a princess, an heiress to the kingdom. She mostly acted carefree and confident. What was the meaning of this, then?

She sighed, her eyes momentarily watching the passing city scenery through the gap between the curtain and the window. _It was only another adept for marriage._

After Dryden Fassa returned the promise ring to her, they just kept lining up. Especially in the last few years. The aristocrats were too busy whispering honey into her father's ear, much to Lord Meiden's chagrin. She supposed the friendship between her father and his trusted advisor was suffering. But Dryden's father must have known very well it was his son who ended their engagement.

The court and clergy declared their marriage null and void as it had never been consummated.

But she could only hope for true freedom.

It was rarely without any side interests when men were introduced to her. And during the many official occasions, she met all kinds of them. Ambitious and slimy, stupid and arrogant, young and old, all intending to win her over. Then there were the uninterested, pushed by their relatives to try and make her his wife. She was quite a trophy after all. Some were even quite convincing in their endeavors, but she always concluded it was an act or calculation. Just shy of two decades old, Millerna was already starting to lose faith in true love. And the struggle for her hand was starting to get on her nerves.

The annual Martial Arts festival was the worst. It was a holiday to Asturians that filled the Colosseum up to the brim with the entertainment-craving spectators, rich and poor alike. Of course, the side dish of violence was always a nice bonus for the crowds. This year, however, it seemed like the main prize was nothing but herself. The confessions on the battlefield, the flowers she received from the knights. Who even had the time for these games in a time of war? She almost felt a little jealous of Eries, who, as per usual, withdrew herself from this occasion.

But there was an interesting figure, alright: none other than her prospective fiancé. And he did, in fact, win the tournament with ease. Though, she was sure his victory was not the reason her father started the negotiations with the Egzardian royal family. It must have been old news by then to the old kings and perhaps some of their closest advisors. Not to Millerna, though, as her father had told her just the evening prior. Still, she would not describe herself exactly as surprised. Something like this had been just a matter of time.

She had met Lord Gilles after the tournament and could not say she wouldn't like him. He was tall and strong, winner of many other battles. And his smile was sure to win many hearts. He kept his long dark hair curled in his ponytail and fashionably around his ears and and his moustache carefully shaven and sharp. But what really made her feel bothered was how he watched her. There was something shameful in his surprisingly pale blue eyes, something she never quite saw in Allen's or Dryden's. It flattered her but at the same time, she felt unsure of herself. Her gloved hand was almost trembling when he pressed a short kiss there. The half-amused glint in his eyes told her he knew of the effect he had on her.

They met a few times after and talked and she could not say she didn't enjoy his company. As fourth in line to the throne, he had almost no chance of ever wearing the crown of Egzardia, but that seemed to have freed his schedule for other pastimes. He had many stories of adventures: he fought wild beast people tribes, hunted dragons, and took part in some battles against Zaibach as well. His guymelef was a work of art, he bragged. Millerna felt attracted to him but didn't fool herself at how deep her feelings went. She just liked him physically, but that did not mean they would not work out. It was a lot like with Allen, young as she had been: at first, she had not been able to see the difference between physical attraction and love, but eventually she felt both for the knight.

It was a sore spot still, how that ended. She had continued hunting the knight down after Dryden's departure, but no matter how many hours, how many kisses they stole in the recesses of Palas, she could not feel satisfied. It took her long enough to realize: it was because Allen did not love her. He could be with her, but he would never feel for her like she did for him. Her heart was cracking in silence. In the arms of the one she loved.

She stopped chasing after him, eventually. "I will not rely on your kindness anymore, Sir Allen," she told him one day, heart reduced to pieces. He nodded silently. "Serving you is all I wish to do, Your Highness." It hurt like nothing in her life until now, but she would not show it. She was going to be his Queen; she could not allow herself to embarrass herself before him anymore.

Dryden didn't appear in Palas often and didn't go visit her specifically when he did. It was possible that rumors of her and Allen had reached him, even though they had tried their best to keep it secret. His rat attendant sometimes did visit, though, bringing her some curiosity from Dryden's travels as a gift. "Lord Dryden has too many projects, too many, I say… and little success… and time," the neurotic beastman complained. She knew Dryden dealt in food, importing mostly from the south while men in the war-ridden lands could not work their fields and crops were too scarce. Feeding the market with enough stock to keep the prices affordable. Bad-mouths were saying the business still earned a lot for the Fassa family. But if it was so, Dryden's father would surely not stay on such bad terms with him.

Now, Meiden's talk was all Meinar, Dryden's younger brother. The boy was starting to help his father run all the traditional family businesses. Meanwhile, Dryden ran refugee, widow, and orphan charities. A cloth manufactory employing the injured war veterans and widows. He even built a hospital up north, closer to the front.

Millerna saw all this and respected it a lot. She had not known what exactly to imagine when he said he would become a man who would deserve her. Was it still a part of that plan? Or had the plan changed somewhere along the way? Her former fiancé was always unpredictable enough to her. After not showing any interest in her for years, he had reappeared and announced his plan to marry her, as soon as possible. He had then proceeded to give his entire fleet of immense worth away to save Van's life. All that within a day. She supposed that was a normal day in the life of the grand adventurer, traveler, merchant and curiosities collector Dryden Fassa. After their botched wedding, he rendered her speechless again by returning the promise ring to her. If his feelings were changeable like that, if he was so easily turned by circumstances… then he had probably already forgotten about his promise. She just had to admit she didn't know him too well. Which is why their original marriage was probably one of the worst ideas.

Nevertheless, if he was still trying to win her over, why would he distance himself from her as he did? Despite her newfound respect for him, she felt like they were drifting even more apart. She, a princess locked in her pretty castle. He amidst the people, helping in any way he could. When they did talk, Dryden's eyes seemed more tired. He seemed distant. Less humorous than he used to be, even though he always put on a happy mask for her. Millerna imagined he must have seen a lot of suffering among the smallfolk. They never really mentioned their relationship.

How could they grow closer if he had put castle walls between them? He'd probably really given up on her… Or did he think she would be the one to make a first step? She was afraid. To disappoint him and to disappoint herself. She did not want him to feel like she did with Allen. She was slowly losing hopes of them ever working out… her father already had for certain, searching for another suitable candidate for her hand. And thinking of her future, she was not entirely opposing the idea.

If she had the choice, she would be outside like Dryden, helping people with all the medical knowledge and skills she had gathered until now. But her responsibilities lay elsewhere. She was the heir to the crown. And the more time passed, the more her father's health waned despite all their efforts, the more it dawned upon her: she was going to be the sole sovereign of a powerful nation, second only to the Zaibach Empire. She would have armies, human lives in her hands. How could she prepare for that? She had been spoiled most of her life. The more she thought about it, the more she hoped for someone by her side who could share that burden. She should be extra picky, she knew. It was not just her hand she would be giving into his, but a major part of the kingdom.

She had no doubt some of the older, experienced candidates her father introduced to her were well-suited for that. For politics and running a country. But despite becoming more and more skeptical, she still was a young girl and had her hopes. She wanted to be attracted, to have feelings for her spouse. It wasn't once she had to beg her father to refuse someone who has shown interest but was repulsive to her. Thank Jeture she was still his favorite and her tears had always managed to convince him.

This man was not repulsive. He was confident, handsome and powerful on the battlefield. A military leader Asturia desperately needed in these times. She should give him a chance. It could also be the last for her before she landed with someone far less desirable…

The carriage finally made its way outside of the spider-web that were the streets of Palas, crossing the bridge behind the city gates. Buildings near the road became sparser and sparser. She would be there soon, finally able to talk to the reason of her unease. Although she could not really understand it.

Really, Gilles was almost too good. She always dreamed of Egzardia, the country famed for its fashion. The fabrics and lace she ordered from Marsial always left the Asturian ladies gasping. And Millerna was not far from it, either. The silks were softest she had ever touched and the brocades had the most intricate and fantastical designs. She spent a lot of time imagining the dresses that must have been made of them in their country of origin. Her seamstresses were clever, of course, but they could not quite manage to replicate the opulent and dramatic designs that Egzardian aristocrats wore, from what she saw during diplomatic visits and such.

What was maybe even more interesting was that women apparently could wear pants there and showing the silhouette of the leg was not a mortal sin like in Palas. Paired with a frilly dress-blouse, which was short in the front and long in the back, and the optional coat and hat, they were more than acceptable attire for riding, for example. She secretly got such pants a few years ago and tried to replicate the look. And she became very fond of them later, even though it was for the comfort and freedom of movement they provided more than anything.

The wardrobe of Prince Gilles was breathtaking as well: gold-embroidered waistcoats, lace frills on his neck and sleeves, tall white socks and knee-length pants… it was all unusual to the eyes of Asturians, whose costumes were also complicated, but a bit less decorative. They relied largely on straight cuts, solid colors, and the famed Palas madeira. Egzardian fashion was rich lace on top of embroidery on top of a fabric already woven in complicated floral and geometric patterns… completed by feathered hats and sizeable pieces of jewelry. All of it combined in a masterful way that made the end result look grand yet pleasing to the eye. And very fashionable. In the presence of the overwhelming Egzardian designs, Millerna in some of her simpler dresses almost felt like a country girl visiting a big city for the first time.

One could think such provocative fashion would take away from masculinity, but that seemed not to be the case when it came to Gilles. He had a memorable profile with a strong, aquiline nose and thin lips. His steel eyes could be cold just as well as smoldering. Gilles L'Essarde, lord de Venedicto. Even his name sounded regal and beautiful.

Not to mention, being somehow involved with Egzardia; that was a childish dream come true. And she had to admit that was something pulling her to the Prince, as well. Maybe this was her fate after all?

Millerna ordered the carriage to stop before reaching the meeting point. After climbing down, she ordered the surprised handmaiden who had hurried to her side to wait for her. The expression of the woman told her the idea was not really appropriate, but she could not quite oppose the future queen. Thankfully, there were no guards she had to convince that a short walk was safe enough to make alone. Only the carriage driver, the maid and her. Her fiancé should be enough to protect her, after all.

"It may rain, Your Highness. Why don't you let me carry your umbrella?" the woman made a weak attempt to change her mind. Whether she wanted to follow for propriety or saucy gossip's sake, Millerna did not know. More importantly, she did not care.

"I don't think so. The wind will blow the clouds apart. Wait for me in the carriage."

"As you wish, Your Highness." The maid bowed and stayed down, waiting for Millerna to turn her back on her so that she could climb back into the carriage. If her father, or maybe Eries, ordered to keep an eye on Millerna, they might be disappointed. She might even get an earful, in case it was indeed her older sister. But she could not really trust this woman or any of the staff, she had learned that long time ago.

Current Millerna worried little about some scolding. Like everybody in the palace, she had her own agenda and could get what she wanted, which was right now some time alone with her prospective fiancé. She was beginning to despise the inhibitions of the court and felt that if she was supposed to get to know the man, it had to be like this, not during formal dinners and galas.

She should have been glad she even had the chance to get to know him; royalty did not require anything like that. One of the most vivid memories she had of her sister, Marlene, was her crying into her pillows hysterically. "But I haven't even met him!" she had sobbed as her loyal handmaiden comforted her.

Little Millerna only found out what that was truly about after she had waved her beloved sister goodbye on her voyage to Godashim. From which she had never ever returned to Asturia. But she did not want to remember such sad things. From what she knew, her sister found happiness in Freid. She saw it in her eyes as she and the Duke had shown them the little bundle of joy that was Prince Chid while they visited to attend his Naming Ceremony.

Even before that, Eries had read her the letters Marlene wrote them about how kind her husband secretly was and how fortunate she was to be with him. Millerna hoped for a similar thing. She could not change her fate of being a princess. But she could hope she would _learn_ to love her royal husband like the married women she met often claimed they had. But she wasn't naïvely going to take chances, either. She would try and get to know him before she gave her definitive answer.

So she agreed to a walk outside in the Palas' countryside filled with the lovely views of the coastline. Not quite today, though: the sky was cloudy and the restless sea beat against the cliffs. If Millerna was poetic, she would say it reflected her soul. But she didn't care too much about the views or the weather today, her presence here was entirely pragmatic. She stopped as she spotted the reason of her nervousness and squeezed her gloved hands together nervously.

He had yet to notice her arrival, standing with his back to her, his position relaxed and self-assured. Really, he could be whistling. He had shed the usual coat and cravat and stood before her just in a waistcoat, shirt, and breeches, despite the cold wind. Seeing his less-than-formal outfit, Millerna let loose the knot of her hat under her chin as she walked over to him. It was too stuffy, too choking, anyway.

"Your Highness," the man bowed before her shortly. He kissed her gloved hand and smiled. She was happy she didn't feel so bothered today. It reassured her a bit.

"Lord Venedicto."

He grimaced. "Would you consider calling me Gilles, Your Highness?"

"Then you should call me Millerna, Lord Gilles."

"Lady Millerna. You are very beautiful today, again. A true picture of Meifia." His smile got wide, revealing a set of straight teeth. Millerna was not immune to its attractiveness.

"Now, don't lie," she motioned for him to start their walk.

"You got me there, Milady. Meifia could only wish for your beauty."

She chuckled with him. "Enough with the flattery, Lord Gilles. I met you because I want to know your true intentions."

"I thought I had made my intentions known. I would be very happy, if you agreed to my offer."

"You mean, your father's offer, am I right?"

"Of course, my father was involved, as was yours. Still, I think I was really lucky."

Millerna couldn't help but flush a little.

"You barely know me."

"Maybe so, but I felt it as soon as I saw you. I can't get you out of my head ever since. I even dream of you at night…!" He said that intently but with such an ease she wondered if it was his confidence or if he was just a great liar.

"Maybe your sense of happiness is coming from the fact that you may rule this country one day?" she dared to ask.

"Unlike my own country, which is out of reach for the likes of me?" he sounded offended and his smile got bitter, dark even. She lowered her gaze, embarrassed. She did not expect this level of bluntness from him. "Princess. Don't be like my family who disregards everything I say because I am the youngest," he said passionately. "I think you can understand that better than anyone."

 _Right._ So they had something in common after all. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "Perhaps I just meet with too much pretense in my life."

"I promise to be always honest with you, Lady Millerna. That is more than most of the others can offer. My father has tried to get me to marry for ages. I would not let him have that. There was nothing I valued more than my freedom. But that was before I met you."

"It's just a bit too sudden for me. Please give me some time to…"

The wind picked up and took her frilly hat with it. She gasped, embarrassed by the little blunder.

The Egzardian chuckled and chased it down the hill. His good spirits seemed to have returned. Millerna lifted her eyes up to the sky. A landing leviship. And not just any. A leviship that wasn't supposed to return until the beginning of the next color… or the battle's end. And the battle had definitely not ended yet.

Her stomach tightened at the prospect of what it could mean. An old memory of Allen hurt in battle resurfaced. Millerna used to have more senseless faith in him, but since then, she knew that he was as mortal as anybody else. After all, it was she who had operated on him that day, holding his life in her hands. That experience had really changed her on many fronts. And she knew very well how close death became in this war. She lost her brother-in-law, whom she barely knew, but many lost their husbands, sons… and she knew losing Allen would cause her similar pain, despite everything that had happened between them…

"Thank you. You will have to excuse me Lord V… I mean, Lord Gilles," she said as he handed her the hat. "I have to return to the palace."

"What a shame. May I ask for another date?"

"Of course, it will be my pleasure." The reply came to her as rather automatic. But she blamed that on her current predicament.

"The pleasure is all mine, believe me," he said, bowing to her.

* * *

Hitomi didn't want to miss the view of Palas from Crusade. The sight was like a picture cut out from a brochure promoting one of those trips to Europe many of her countrymen were so fond of. Her mother used to fetch one from the travel agency every year, even though they never went. _She would love it here_ , Hitomi thought.

She savored the picture of the Asturian capital in her memories. A beautiful and bustling city, surrounded by endless blue. The multitude of colors, fashions, and curious scents of the market. The water running through like veins of the city, same as riches, struggle for power, and two-facedness. A perfect scene for a Shakespearean play. The beautiful, yet troubled characters; actors who rarely shed their costumes.

But doesn't everyone wear a mask most of the time? Looking critically at herself, she could certainly say she did. Being an obedient daughter, a cheerful girl, pursuing good grades, always ready to help her juniors with their studies or elders with some chores. Once, she had big dreams of becoming a track star, an Olympian. But as it was, she was in fact stuck in mediocrity. She made some decent results inside of her province, but never got good enough times even for a national championship.

Instead, she felt she had started, as most of her female-peers at the college, on her track of a perfect life as a suburban wife. Once Mr. Right showed up, that was. Or he wouldn't and after some matchmaking, he would be replaced by a Mr. I-should-have-been-married-by-now. Just doing as was expected of her in her society. She used to think she was alright with that, but was it really how she felt? Was it her nature, or just her convincing herself it was? Wasn't there anything else she wished for?

She thought of Millerna and her arranged marriage to Dryden. The princess had accepted it, but not without a lot of doubt. And young Hitomi had been conceited enough to think she could be selfish and still ensure Millerna's happiness. She had wished for a good life for the princess together with the merchant and believed it would be enough.

 _And Allen would be free to be with her._ A side effect, or so she told herself. That lie ultimately led to the destruction of Palas. Even now, she felt deeply ashamed thinking of it. An impure, selfish wish will always lead to ruin. Not to mention, she had thought of Millerna as a friend by that time already, and she had just betrayed that…

"Here we are. Home, sweet home," Allen interrupted her thoughts, which were getting dark as the water underneath. It was disturbed and murky green under the gray sky in a way that almost made her miss the white walls adorned by various geometric patterns appearing on the horizon. Somehow, she had expected it to turn magically into the beautiful sunlit blue she remembered from her first visit before they reached the capital. The canals shimmering from above so exquisitely, that even she, a girl from a seaside town, had to ask her companions what they were. She saw nothing like that now. Well, it was probably not the season, she thought. She was hoping it had been just the weather in the north, but apparently, it was winter here in the south as well.

 _Or worse, it's the war,_ she thought as she passed the streets on their way to the palace, with Allen by her side and Merle with Gaddes not too far behind. Thankfully, she didn't attract much attention as she had changed into a knee-length light skirt from her bag. It was surely better fit for a visit to the palace than the jean shorts or other casual bottoms that were her other options. She paired it with just a fitting t-shirt, at which Allen lifted his eyebrows. She had packed for summer and the sporty jacket she had looked ridiculous with the skirt. She did not want to look like an idiot in the palace. She realized her mistakes as she walked the streets, the wind chilling her to the bone.

As they passed the market, the knight just stopped and asked them to wait. In a few minutes, he returned with a pale blue cape for her. "Consider it a welcome-back gift," he told her as she thanked him embarrassingly. Merle's eye-roll must have been visible from space. The cape covered her from the thighs up, had cuts to stick your arms out, and a hood. She saw Asturian women wearing garments like this, but they usually had another frilly cap and of course, a whole dress underneath.

Hitomi put it on and was surprised that it was actually comfortable and gave her a sense of anonymity. It covered everything that stood out, including her cropped hairstyle. She felt free to look around without attracting too much attention.

Gondolas were lacking in the channels and what little she had seen was transporting supplies and food rather than passengers, not to say couples in love. There were far less people in the street; the bright chatter, music from the taverns missing. Even the colors of the market seemed duller somehow. Was this even Palas at all?

She felt apprehensive as they neared the humongous gates, many memories resurfacing. She used to have a comfortable room in the palace, fit for a princess, really. Especially compared to what she had experienced elsewhere on this planet, not seldom forced to sleep under the stars. But she couldn't say she remembered her stay in the palace fondly. She experienced too much worry, plotting and jealousy behind its gates.

The group was ushered to the waiting room; apparently, there was news of their arrival, even though nobody had been awaiting them in the landing spot or at the gates.

"Allen!" An all too familiar voice echoed through the hall. It was graceful, like its owner, who made their way slowly towards them. The knight walked ahead to the center of the spacious room while she, Merle and Gaddes stayed behind, next to the door. Hitomi observed their meeting with curiosity. There was no running towards each other, no proclamations.

"Princess Milllerna." Allen got down to one knee. She didn't offer him her hand to kiss but she still felt the fondness from her voice and posture. "Raise, Lord Knight. What news from the front?"

"As usual, it has been dire. But we were closing on victory as we left."

"I pray it will be so. Jeture knows we cannot suffer another defeat now. My father has been bed-ridden for days," a shadow crossed Millerna's face as she said that.

"I hope he will get better soon."

"He's been improving in the last few days, and I'm sure the news of our victory will lift his spirits."

"I'm glad to hear that." Hitomi wondered about the sincerity of that. There was no love lost between the old king and the knight. She could name several reasons and she was sure she didn't know of all of them yet. Not that Allen hated the king enough to wish him sickness and death… "Have you and your sister been well, Your Highness?"

"We feel sort of useless. We cannot build guymelefs and our swordplay is not the best lately," the princess smiled bitterly. "That, and we are barely allowed by the councilors to leave the palace. Eries busies herself with politics, replacing my father and seeing the diplomats and ministers more than she sees me. I would say I'm bored, but my time is filled out with worrying and frustration of not being able to help. At least my books do not contain any mortal danger…" the princess seemed to have caught herself rambling and flushed for a second.

Allen smiled, and it looked sincere enough to Hitomi. "I think I might have brought a surprise you will like then, Your Highness."

He motioned towards them, Millerna started peek behind his back, then approach curiously. "Merle! Good to see you!"

"And you, Your Highness," Merle bowed curtly together with Gaddes. Hitomi followed their example. "Gaddes," Millerna acknowledged the sergeant, her tone asking. "And…?" She felt the princess' eyes on her.

"Your Highness, it really is her," the man beside her said with a smile.

"I can't believe it. Then why won't you look at me properly at least, Hitomi?"

"It's been so long. I was not sure you would remember me… Your Highness," she stammered. These people all knew Millerna better than her, yet kept their formalities in the palace. How was she supposed to act?

A gloved hand lifted her chin, making her stand.

Twinkling violet eyes greeted her with familiarity. The princess was one of the most beautiful women she had ever met, her luxurious mane of platinum waves, smooth pale skin and hourglass figure not needing any further decoration, her amethyst eyes beating any ornament. She would make a potato sack look like a beautiful dress, but of course, she was wearing one of the latter, in a soft pink color with a contrasting khaki corset. Hitomi wondered briefly if she still wore the riding pants she was so fond of one time or if it was just some rebellious phase.

"How could I forget?" she said as she lowered Hitomi's cape behind her head and put her hands on her shoulders. "Among the hundreds of people I've met in this position, you're still one of the most unforgettable ones. And your gift…"

"I… I am not so special anymore, Princess. I am afraid that I am just a normal girl now…"

"We loathe to be wasting your time, Your Highness," Allen said suddenly, his eyes skimming the doors in the corners of the room. "We'll be going soon, so you can return to the comfort of your quarters."

"Even if it were so, I never forget my friends, Hitomi. And call me Millerna, as before," the princess continued silently, after nodding discreetly back at Allen.

"Thank you," Hitomi said, suddenly more emotional than she expected. "I never forgot you… any of you… either."

"Your Highness, may I hope Hitomi and Merle can stay with you in the palace for the time being? I still have many errands to run and it may be the safest place for them."

"Of course, Allen. It's more than a pleasure for me."

"Thank you, Your Highness. I'll see you later then. Gaddes!"

"Yes, Boss. Your Highness, Ladies," The sergeant bowed.

Millerna observed her silently for a while after the men had left. "You are not so gangly anymore!" she exclaimed. "You became quite a beauty, Seeress. Except it looks like you still have problems growing your hair."

"Let me assure you princess, she's the same as ever," Merle said, her tone mocking.

Hitomi chose to ignore her this once. "Ah, thanks," she directed to the princess. Millerna grabbed her hand suddenly. "We've a lot to catch up on, girls. But first, let's see if we can find a nice dress for Hitomi… and for you as well, Merle, if you prefer. Come on. Do you want to bathe first? Are you hungry…?"

She let herself be dragged in the general direction of Millerna's quarters with the catgirl at their heels, her heart feeling a bit more at ease now that she knew she still had a friend in the princess.

* * *

 **Happy New Year! Everyone who has not forgotten about this story yet, I am so sorry for taking so long to update! I had big changes in my life and my schedule got quite busy and unpredictable. But that doesn't change anything on my resolve to continue and eventually finish this story! On the positive side, I am in a place where I can do more research than anywhere else. Will publish the results on my visarcana tumblr!**

 **I want to thank my sweet beta who did excellent job again and the loyal as well as new reviewers – you really keep reminding me of why I'm writing this. Wishing you all the best for the coming year!**

Chapter notes:

I always felt like Millerna was the other heroine of Escaflowne and her character development in the series was incredible. So yeah, you will see a lot of Millerna in this story! This is again part of the plan to give all the characters their screentime (preferably not as props to the main ones), but I can already say Millerna will get more POV and spotlight than most of the others.

Egzardia is another of the countries that made brief appearance in the series. And if Basram is similar to Prussia, then Egzardia is definitely Gaean France. It is famed for its fashions and even their military uniforms look rather fancy. Marsial is the name of the capital I made up. I think I was quite obvious with the French referencing everywhere I could, haha!

The tight black pants Millerna wears throughout the series are really from Egzardia according to the artbooks and a bit outrageous to wear in Asturia. Even Allen pauses at it when seeing it for the first time. All I could say upon finding out was, "atta girl!"

Well I said I will limit the OCs and here I go again! And it's yet another bishounen! I have fun with Gilles for reasons I cannot disclose yet… but soon enough guys! You just gotta be patient there. It may be surprising to introduce a new guy on Millerna's orbit, so I hope the Millerna-Dryden or Millerna-Allen shippers forgive me for this! I do believe it's a bit original at least though.

 _ **This was a Millerna chapter, alright. In the next one, some more old faces and loose ends! It should not take as long if I have any say in it!**_

 _~ Rin_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter version: 1.0 [Beta-read by Blue Funk]**

"You called for me."

"I did, Lord Schezar. I have new information." Allen couldn't mask the suspicion he eyed the other man with, despite their prior engagements.

"It's been years since that incident. Most of my hope had been lost."

"I understand. However, you must as well. Please realize my connections suffered with my current… ah, traitor status." One corner of his lips rose slightly. "In addition, this was one of Zaibach's better-kept secrets. The Sorcerers never liked me too much to begin with. It was not easy finding an informant without risking exposing myself or your case. Still, I believe I have a trustworthy source on the information you requested."

Allen checked for any unwanted bystanders, and then finally stepped closer to Folken. The former Zaibach Strategos still enjoyed dark colors and heavy garments, making him stand out anywhere in Asturia. He looked almost like a shadow, something unnatural. He didn't know if it was his albinism or Draconian heritage, but his red eyes were unnerving. Van also had reddish eyes, but in a more earthy tone. His brother's looked eerie. He only saw something like that in Dilandau Albatou. But while the captain's eyes were crystallized bloodlust, Folken's bore judgmental, deep wisdom. And secrets. That man was a walking secret.

He motioned to the door of his lab with his artificial arm and Allen entered first. Darkness swallowed him even in the bright of day. But it was unlike Allen to fear anyone, much less show it to them. Besides, while it was unusual that he could not really fathom his counterpart, he deemed Folken harmless. This man was just a nocturnal animal.

Allen had pretty much ignored the Strategos as he had settled down in in Palas. While Van had been livid and on the edge, the knight did not have any deep feelings in that matter despite the past battles. He had been ready to kill him, if his duty dictated. Now it forced him to tolerate the Zaibach exile. So be it. They had mostly been successful in avoiding each other, anyway.

Their involvement started one stormy summer night not too long after Hitomi abruptly returned to her own planet. Allen had been contemplating in his empty villa in Palas when a girl appeared as if out of thin air.

It had been years but he would have recognized her anywhere. Her blonde hair, paler than his, curling around her face, which reminded him of his mother, Encia. Her eyes were a scared, confused blue. Like their father's. He remembered wondering if he had lost his mind, shortly. So much time had passed; his mind had already lost the hope of ever finding her again. But his heart never did. Perhaps that was important, he thought as he remembered the words of the Seeress. He had been cynical of them back when she said them, but he had not shown it. She was young and he remembered he used to have the same hopes and beliefs once.

And yet his foolish wish came true. He hugged his sister close to him, feeling like he miraculously found a part of himself forever lost. She wore just a very flimsy shirt, an unfit garb for a young lady. Allen realized he didn't have anything for her to wear. He did not want her in his mother's robes, he decided. She wore pants anyway, so he just gave her one of his old, smaller shirts. He tried to talk to her, but she just looked at him confusedly, her words a childish jumble. She knew he was her brother but did not recall much else. She had been very little as she was abducted. He made up his mind to make her remember where she belonged.

He showed her the rooms she used as a small girl, her toys. The lithography and painting of their mother. Long ago, he had asked the servants to remove everything that could remind him of his father. He just had Leon's journal, given back to him by Dryden Fassa. He let Celena touch that too, explaining as gently as he could that father and mother were not here anymore. She brushed those objects with her fingers, uncertain and silent. At some point, she collapsed, grabbed her head and started screaming and crying. Allen calmed her down with difficulty and laid her down on her miniature bed, which was covered with a white sheet like most of the furniture here. Celena curled up on it, too short for her now, agonized and shivering. Yet she grabbed his hand with a surprising force as he tried to leave to bring her a clean blanket, so he simply covered her with the dusty sheet and sat down on the ground next to the bed. He watched over her for the rest of the night, deciding he would for the whole rest of his life. He wouldn't ever let her be taken away from him again.

The next day, he decided to bring her to their mother's resting place. To calm his own mind more than anything. But also because he knew it was the time of Princess Eries' graveyard visit. She had her regular little habits.

It was around the time she had found out about his and Marlene's affair that their friendship started. The friendship that was gone now. It ended in a very similar way to how it started. With slaps and accusations of ruining some lives. But it had been honest all the way through, which, in Palas, spoke for itself.

Truth be told, it was really an unusual relationship for him, when it came to women. It did not involve the seduction game or quick gratification. It was a surprisingly firm and honest bond built slowly over the years of pretending. Until that second slap broke it. Even while it lasted, they did not meet often, especially after he was ordered away to Castello. They never even touched or broke the boundaries of politeness during their talking, but he always felt calmer afterwards. The middle princess already knew of his most painful secret, and he had to admit sharing it brought him some relief after Marlene had left him for Freid. She was an intelligent woman and could always give him some insight. He had believed this would be the case as well.

Allen's hopes were not disappointed when Princess Eries offered him to help with Celena. If she ever could hope of living a dignified life here, she would have to learn the course of society and a woman's place in it. Of course, it would take time. Celena's development seemed to have halted in her childhood. But Eries believed it was not irreversible. She would take on the task herself and ask her doctor and their old governess for help.

All their discussed plans were brought to a halt when Celena collapsed again, her whole frame trembling. Soon, he was looking into the ruby eyes of a Zaibach captain, bewildered as his must have been. The albino yelled an unfamiliar name. Another miet later, and a guymelef appeared as if out of thin air and took him away right in front of a powerless Allen. No, he really had not thought of bringing Scherazade that day.

It felt strange as he described this confusing experience of his sister's sudden and short return to Folken a while later. Another secret he shared with Princess Eries, one that he hadn't trusted even Gaddes with yet. Eries was the one who arranged their meeting and she sat silently nearby, witnessing their strange conversation. He remembered it as if it was yesterday.

"I don't know what you are asking of me, Sir Knight. You know what you saw. Or are you questioning that?"

"I cannot make any sense of it."

"You saw your sister Celena change into Dilandau right before your own eyes."

"Don't play games with me; do you know of such things? A doppelgänger… or an illusion?"

Folken's expression changed into a phantom of a smile. Allen hated it. It made him think the man knew more than he let on. "He didn't attack you, did he?"

"He had no weapon. And he seemed confused… the man who took him with the guymelef could have, though. Yet he didn't."

"That proves he wasn't sent to deceive and kill you."

"What then?"

"I think your sister came to you of her own volition," Folken said as if it explained anything.

"My sister disappeared years ago. Does it mean Zaibach had her all those years?"

"We could assume that."

Allen's eyebrows knitted together. "But what about the… Dilandau thing."

"I don't know where Captain Albatou came from. I only had the… unfortunate task of acting as his superior. This meant trying to control him, a nearly impossible mission. His file was so threadbare, it had to be a forgery. It was not my place to ask, though. If I was not given this information, I was not meant to know."

"Can you find out?" he asked, wishing that he hadn't sounded as desperate as he felt. Folken had promised him he would try.

But the next time he heard about Dilandau was not from Folken: he appeared on the battlefield again. He returned to take Fanelia back from Van. Allen wasn't there, and he never forgave himself for that. It became a famous battle and the first time he heard the soldiers talk that the King of Fanelia fought like a demon. His opponent was not someone to be underestimated either, using the latest murderous Zaibach technology, but he was defeated, same as his subordinates a few years ago. The beastman companion of Dilandau's fell first. The captain rushed in a blind rage, but that only revealed his weak points. His guymelef was leaking liquid from the caved in cockpit as it was recovered by another Zaibach soldier. The pilot was either killed by the blow or drowned inside, the soldiers said. The Alseides-type could have also exploded shortly after, as they witnessed several times already. That was all he could find out from the eyewitnesses.

Captain Albatou hasn't appeared since then. That was a good enough reason to believe their story. Allen agonized over every single option this could have implied. Then, after long months of silence, Folken sent a message to meet him. Which was another reason to rush back to Asturia, next to Hitomi.

Truth was, he felt rather hopeless. What was worse, he didn't have anyone to confide in. He and Princess Eries had fallen out since. Not that he had anyone but himself to blame. So he just anxiously awaited the news, which he knew would most probably be about his sister being dead. But he had carried foolish hope all these years, and he would never be ready to have it irrevocably shattered.

Folken motioned for him to sit down.

"This might get long."

Allen shook his head. "Speak," he prompted again, leaning against the wall of the dark lab.

Folken sat down on his stool unhurriedly, crossing his legs. He pulled a sheet of paper and started writing or sketching, Allen couldn't be sure in the dark. "Dilandau was a product of a Zaibach experiment, as I suspected. After the prognostication machine was built, various teams of Zaibach scientists were testing its uses. There were teams of Sorcerers, competing in their respective field, striving for a break-through and the Emperor's favor. Their activities were highly classified. Not only for the strategic importance, but also because of their… morally questionable attributes."

He stalled for a bit. "You see, science was highly regarded in Zaibach. Everything they became was thanks to science. There probably hadn't been a poorer country in all Gaea, until the arrival of the Emperor. The Emperor showed them how to fortify their crops and make the most of the poor land. When they were fed, he showed them how to spin cotton and clothe themselves easily for the winter. He showed them machines never before seen on Gaea and used them to the advantage of the people. He heated their frigid northern homes and healed even the deathly ill, all by science."

"I'd prefer you got to the point," Allen growled impatiently.

"This all gave Dornkirk almost a godly status. The only one that had more privileges than the Emperor himself was the science. Of course, like gods do, sometimes it required a sacrifice. They could use animals for testing chemicals and drugs. However, when they started tampering with fate, only a human could suffice."

"Human experiments?!" Allen tried to process that. Yes, he heard of some countries treating others, especially beast folk, cruelly but not this... "That is… unheard of. Zaibach surely doesn't fear the wrath of the gods."

"You are right in that, Allen Schezar." Folken continued. "The gods were disproved in Zaibach. Everything could be explained by science. Science bore the necessities and miracles of life alike. Everything was possible thanks to science. People could materialize their ideas, without the help of gods, just with the power of their own minds. The range of what Zaibach could do was ever widening and we were working, feverishly, to enlighten the dark, undiscovered matters of the world we live in.

He paused slightly, before continuing. "It was hard finding test subjects in Zaibach, though. The newly growing army swallowed many of the poor, orphaned youth. The sorcerers soon realized the experiments with fate were rarely successful and required a steady flow of subjects. The rows of those who wouldn't be missed grew thinner. And some unwanted questions were still arising. They were getting closer, though… And the solution to this was pitiful. They resorted to kidnapping children in neighboring countries."

Allen felt a chill run down his spine. But he dared not interrupt the man before him.

"They sent out squads for this purpose. Not for one or a few children. They had carts. And they could not return until they were filled. For many of them didn't survive the experiments. Many came out of it malformed or they lost their mind. Only the strong ones could persevere. Depending on the sorcerer's team, the goals were to create a perfect breed of human being, fulfilling certain qualities. Strength, wisdom, even physical attractiveness. But none of the results were stable. They changed the destiny of a child, artificially preparing a future as a successful person for them. A leader. A winner. Probably not the person they were born as."

Allen tried to wrap his head around it, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach. "How… how does one even come up with such a monstrous idea?"

"As soon as Zaibach started to examine fate, this must have posed as a legitimate question. If you can change the fate of a person in such a drastic way…"

"How can anyone call any of this legitimate?"

Folken was unfazed. "Scientifically speaking… it is a legitimate hypothesis in atropology as a discipline…"

"To hell with that! This has nothing to do with science anymore. This is just you, making gods out of yourselves. But speaking in your terms, at least the answer to what happens to such people is already _proven_. You should know that as someone who carries the blood of Atlanteans in his veins!"

"I realize that now. But I hadn't then. I believe the fall of Atlantis has the same cause as the lack of success with Zaibach's experiments with fate. Even in this case, the transition failed many times, or so I heard. And when it didn't, the results weren't lasting. The ideal fate terminated itself prematurely, mostly by accidental death of the subject. I don't know how many were actually successful, however. My source knew of only one…"

"My sister," Allen choked out. "They kidnapped her… for that."

"Yes. Though, I do believe they stopped at your mansion to investigate and search for some more material left by your father, not to abduct her per se."

"How do you know of my father?"

Folken stalled again; a crack in his calm demeanor. "I heard. It's not a secret he left your family for research, after all."

"No, how did you know Zaibach was after him? Answer me!"

The former Strategos shrugged, his metallic arm glinting. "If you think I had a hand in that, I must disappoint you. I'm not sure I was even with them at the time."

"Then how?"

"How much do you think you can hide in this court?"

"Ah, did Van tell you? Dryden?" For some reason, he hated the fact that this man knew almost all the secrets of his family. He wasn't always explicit but had hoped the people involved wouldn't spread the information. His name had enough of disgrace and scandal on it as it was already.

"No. What does it matter? We are not here about your father."

"Right, we are here about my sister. My sister, who has been turned into that… and now… now she's most likely dead."

"That's not for certain."

"I know your revenge-obsessed little brother well enough. He does not take any chances anymore." His voice was shaking.

Folken looked up at him pointedly. "When I decided to tell you this, it was because I trusted you would take it in a rational way. Van knows Dilandau only as someone involved in the destruction of Fanelia… as someone who hunted him down and caused harm to innocent people."

"You don't have to tell me that!" Allen growled and lurched at the Strategos, gripping his collar. Folken didn't even bother to stand. He was tall even on his stool and calm to the marrow of his bones, it seemed. Resigned to his fate…

"You… you were taking part in such shady experiments, weren't you? How do I even know you were not involved in this… inhuman torture of an innocent child? Does Zaibach have any moral boundaries, ever…?"

"If you are asking if I was involved in this research project… no. But I was just another cog in the machine. I do not shake the responsibility. I… destroyed the lives of a few children on my own." His eyes revealed regret and pain, but it did not alleviate Allen's rage one bit.

"Including that of my brother. You cannot make him responsible for this!" His voice finally betrayed some emotion.

"He killed Dilandau." Allen for the first time admitted, even to himself. Every evidence he had pointed to that direction... "And with him, my sister."

"Dilandau is not the same person as her," Folken argued. "They changed her fate, changed what she was born as. They may share the same body, but they are two separate entities. Blaming Van for this is just the same as blaming Celena for the destruction in Fanelia, Asturia, Freid, even. Would you want her to be tried for the war crimes? Answer me, sir knight."

Allen let go of Folken in distaste and hissed his breaths through his teeth. He looked away, lost in his own thoughts. How was he supposed to deal with this? He was prepared for the information that Celena was dead. But like this… not like this. Not only had they most probably caused her tons of physical and mental suffering, no. They had erased her existence, discarded and reversed everything his sister was. It was as if she had never been born… She had had no life, no past. Nobody would remember her. Nobody but Allen.

The desire for revenge rose in him like never before. He had felt despair, loss or sadness before. He had hated and blamed his father once. But now, for the first time in his life, he felt an unquenchable lust for revenge. He wanted to burn Zaibach to the ground, kill every last one of the Sorcerers. He wanted to howl his wrath out at the moons.

"As a 'cog in the machine'… what… do you think _you_ deserve for this…?" he rasped, looking back.

Folken smirked. "A beast like me without honor or humanity would probably kill the evil turncoat Sorcerer on the spot. But you are quite the opposite of me, right? Or is that the honorable thing to do, to kill the traitor, even though he's proven to be useful to your kingdom? "

Allen barely reigned himself in and let go, walking numbly to the door.

"I finally understand why your brother will never forgive you," he uttered upon his departure, as he let some of the light from the doorway in. "You made him into what he is; I hope it eats at you for the rest of your miserable life."

Folken turned his face back to the darkness. "Probably so," he admitted. Allen thought the conversation was over, until he heard the devilish man say something that continued to haunt him for days. "But if not as a friend, as an ally you should realize that every crime you blame him for may be one you didn't have to commit."

* * *

"I'll show you something more interesting," Millerna said excitedly as she led her down the stairs.

Hitomi wondered if it was another dress, a rose garden or a beautifully made meal. Then she scolded herself inwardly for being so ungrateful. She could not deny that living a princess life had its perks. She got a nice, comfortable bath the very evening she arrived (after she shooed the attendants away) and every day since. Millerna gave her and Merle their own room again, a beautiful one with huge windows overseeing the channel. She tried on what felt like at least fifty outfits in the last few days, Millerna took them to the market, to gardens and parks, to the marina and around the city. Merle always tagged along, even though her mood got sour sometimes and they quarreled a bit, while Millerna chuckled. But the catgirl went out on her own today, after it became clear that they weren't leaving the palace.

She wondered if Merle was ordered to stay with her. For what? Observation? Protection? It didn't seem necessary, as a flock of guards was already following them wherever the princess went. The younger girl was impatient and on the edge, probably worried about her lord. In contrast to hers, Millerna's company was almost soothing. She enjoyed it a lot. They chatted about the old and the new, rekindling their friendship.

It was nice. It was easy and at times, even careless. Her thoughts still often went to the battlefield, but she had no idea what was going on there. Not even Millerna seemed informed. It felt strange to her. Before, she always knew what was going on with Van and Allen. Her head had its own 24-hours news channel. Plus, she was not rarely smack in the middle of the happenings. Now, she was dependent on other people, and the news wasn't quick to arrive at all. She felt some worries gnaw at her, but there was nothing she could do.

"Here it is!" Millerna put an end to her musings. "My greatest victory to date. I begged my father for three colors straight to let us build this! Against the wishes of my dear sister, too… you can imagine. And I want you to meet someone…"

She opened the double doors, revealing a spacious, but definitely not empty-looking room. There was a lot going on, in fact. She noticed a small middle-aged man engrossed in work, his skin dark and eyes shrewd. A thin string of pale beard curled beneath his chin. He was grinding something that smelled like a plant, but there was also an apparatus reminding Hitomi of a chemistry lab in front of him. The middle of the room was filled by an operation table, similar to what she had seen when Allen was injured. The other sides of the room were lined by numerous appliances she could not even name. She even spotted some bottled organs on the shelves, but quickly tore her eyes away. The frill-loving princess of course was unfazed by those. Heck, she probably got them herself.

Yes, how could she forget…? Millerna was passionate about medicine. Apparently, even more so now.

"I suppose you bring a new patient, Princess."

She had to replay the sentence in her head to understand its meaning. The exotic accent was unlike any other she heard on Gaea before.

"No, not a patient, teacher. This is my old friend, Hitomi. And this is my wonderful teacher, Shaifa."

"Good afternoon," Hitomi said.

"Well met," the man uttered, without interrupting his work.

"Master Shaifa teaches me whenever he has time. He is incredibly skilled and knows even techniques our doctors have no idea about. The Eastern Medicine is so fascinating."

"Not as fascinating; it's just more advanced than yours," the man said, not really packaging it.

"Umm, are you coming from a far-away country?" she carefully tried to divert the topic.

"Parsan Empire."

Hitomi raked her memory. No, she hadn't heard of that. But she barely knew anything about the bigger part of this planet.

"Haven't heard much about it, have you? You northerners always think you are the only ones in the world. And look, a meager healer from that wilderness has a thing or two to teach to the princess of the richest country of Gaea. Or that's what the northerners believe. Because most haven't seen the golden temples of Saraya or the emperor's palace in Kaiing. They think we are all mindless raiders and wild beastmen tribes, because they never went farther than the next hill…" he waved his hand dismissively.

"According to Dryden, they are incredible! I hope I can see them someday," Millerna said. She seemed unfazed by the bruising tone of the medicine man, probably used to it by now.

"Yes, Lord Dryden has visited those. It was at one such location that we met."

"You speak of Dryden with respect," Hitomi noted.

"Yes, he is a scholar and a man of the world. If it wasn't for him, I would never set my foot on these lands. Her Highness is a very skillful apprentice that I was glad to find, but he was the one who told me all about Asturia and made me curious."

"Plus, he pays you handsomely," Millerna said with a crooked smile.

"Aye, I don't deny that either."

"Surely there are riches in the south," Millerna started diplomatically. "But now that you have lived here for a while, do you think the slaves as well-off as the citizens of Asturia, Master?" It seemed it was not only from medicine she received lessons here.

"Lord Dryden says the same thing, you know? That the greatest treasure of Asturia is freedom of its citizens. But freedom is a gift that can quickly turn to poison."

"Liberty means responsibility. That's why most men dread it," Hitomi absentmindedly murmured a phrase she had read a while back.

The man had barely looked at her before, but now was studying her intently.

"It's not my own idea. G. B. Shaw wrote that."

" _Bisho?_ Never heard of him."

"I'm from a faraway land," Hitomi said, feeling the foreigner's eyes scrutinize her.

"More faraway than mine…? Wait, then you must be the seeress Her Highness told me about!"

"Your wit is ever so quick, teacher," Millerna said with laughter tinkling in her voice.

"So, is it true, then? Do you arrive from the Mystic Moon?"

"Yes, from what you call the Mystic Moon."

The man sighed. "Pardon my rudeness, but nothing too good ever came from that place."

"I beg to differ, teacher. Atlanteans came from that place, and they created all of Gaea."

"That's just one opinion of many," the girls shared a knowing smile. "But even if it were so... look around, do you think this is a good place? Man killing beast, man killing man, suffering all around. But I guess it's all part of its beauty, right? Anyway, how and why would a Mystic-Moonling come to this world?"

"She wishes she knew," Hitomi said.

"If you managed to come here, surely you have some extraordinary power."

"I… I don't think so. I had strange powers once, but they left me."

"Hmm… that is not a thing that easily goes away. Gejra," he bellowed. A huge beastman with the traits of a… bison perhaps… startled her as he stood up from the ground behind the line of desks and made his way over to them. She was totally unaware of his presence before. Much like the wolfmen or catwomen she saw, his head shape was still rather human with animal features. He stopped against her and she noticed his eyeballs were entirely white, in stark contrast with the rest of his dark countenance.

"This is someone like you." The doctor said. "Much like the monks of Freid, he can see the invisible. The life energies. He is plenty helpful to me…"

"But he is…"

"Yes. He is conventionally blind. But he was not always. His clan did this to him when they discovered his abilities. They hurt his eyes in order to stop them, and even cut out his tongue, because they believed it was him who cursed them with illness. But on the contrary; the powers grew stronger, so they expelled him eventually."

Hitomi felt incredibly sorry for the beastman. She wished she could say something but any consolation seemed meaningless. Despite all the troubles she had with her powers in the past, she was never hated or tortured just because of them...

"Do you know what it means?" the doctor interrupted her thoughts.

Hitomi swallowed uncomfortably. "My powers were of different nature. They were not helpful, but dangerous. That is why I gave up on them..." For a long while after, even after the conversation has trailed somewhere else, the beastman did not pull his empty eyes away from her. As if he could not.

When they left 'the infirmary', as Millerna called it, she apologized to Hitomi for the scholar's straightforwardness. "He is a bit of a cynic and he always says what he thinks… but he truly is a master. Half of the court goes to him for cures."

"How did you even get to him?"

"It's very convenient, you know? None of the Asturian doctors would teach a woman, a princess, no less. Not against the wishes of my royal father and scheming sister, who still think this is just a whim of mine. Master Shaifa has no problem with that. He even told me female doctors are nothing extraordinary in his country. Can you imagine?"

Yes, she in fact could. She smiled.

"And since he is pretty much the one keeping my father alive, there is not much anyone can do to antagonize him. Good for me!" a satisfied smirk appeared on Millerna's pretty face.

"How did a foreigner end up being so well-respected in Palas?"

The blonde royal's smile got wistful.

"Dryden brought him from one of his trips. He presented him as a master who can tend to my father and improve his condition. Not that my father didn't have an army of doctors already. But Shaifa managed to help him a lot. People, including me, started to respect him… and he agreed to teach me when I asked! That is why I felt almost like his arrival he was a gift for me as well. Perhaps the best I ever got."

After a short pause, she dared to start. "Millerna, how… is it between you and…"

"Dryden? …Oh wait, perhaps you meant to say Allen?" the princess smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"If you don't want to answer, it's alright," Hitomi looked down at her hands.

"No, I barely have anyone to talk about such things. My sister… would not understand, mostly. And there's not many other people I would trust. Well, Dryden gave me the ring back… I'm sure you heard about it already."

Hitomi nodded. "Why did he do that? I would never expect him to be the one to break that engagement."

"Dryden said he was not the man to deserve me yet. He said he wanted to help the people in this war, to become a better person than he was."

"He really said that?" She hadn't been the greatest fan of the merchant before, mainly because he had treated Allen poorly. Maybe she should have cut him some slack.

"Right, I would not have expected that of him either. He was the one who proposed to marry so fast after all."

"And how did you feel about it?"

"To be honest, I was relieved. There was a lot of pressure on me, on us. I wanted to do the right thing. But I was not certain," she shook her head, some tresses of her long hair disentangling from her dress and falling down her shoulder.

"I know… I saw it in my cards before the wedding. I'm sorry, Millerna… I may have been selfish, but I had wished for your happiness from my heart. I thought I was strong enough to change the future." She looked at the princess sincerely, hoping she would understand her reasoning.

The princess placed her gloved hand on her anxiously entwined pair. "I don't blame you, Hitomi. I was not supposed to let you or your cards make such important decisions for me. It only shows how naïve and lost I had been. The marriage was not your idea, but it would have been a disaster. I'm sure we would not be together if we went through with it. Or happy." she paused, "I would have been lying to myself. Maybe he knew how I felt. He just did what I should have done but was too cowardly to."

"What about Allen? He is a great commander, right?"

"Allen… is not an option. I may have foolishly wished he were when I was fifteen, but that's how it is. I can never marry him as long as father is alive. And even after his death, I'm not sure I would want to go against his wishes."

"But I don't understand why...? Allen is a noble, isn't he? And Dryden is not a prince, either?"

"You know better than anyone what happened with my sister." Millerna almost whispered, even though they were in the far end of the garden, with no one in sight. "My father despises Allen. He is everything my father isn't. If Duke Freid didn't act the way he did… I don't know what would have happened to my sister. Father would have probably given her to whoever wanted her despite her… condition. But he would not have let Marlene marry Allen, even if she expected his child. He would have bought her a husband, some crook who would not even care. I am not surprised that she never told father. He found out or realized only later. And as soon as he did, he banished Allen to Castello. A remote border fortress is not the usual station for a Caeli Knight."

"Oh." That fallen fortress on the border with Fanelia where she had first met Allen and his crew. "That is harsh."

"Don't be so surprised. This is how it works here. The older I am, the more I know. And the more I know about it, the less I like it. I was often wondering why father was so mean to Allen when I was younger. Now I understand. Because Allen had crossed the line. And father wanted him to know that. They both know it, but they can never say it out loud, even if it were just the two of them. This is the life that I'm supposed to lead. This is the life Eries and everybody else leads here. And the life I would have led with Dryden, if he didn't make that choice for us."

Looking at the princess, Hitomi decided to say what she thought openly. They were friends after all, weren't they? "You have changed so much. The old you would have just eloped with Allen."

"I could do that, couldn't I?" Millerna said thoughtfully. "Elope with a man who doesn't love me. Me, the last hope of the Aston family line."

Hitomi was stunned for a while. "Why do you think that Allen doesn't love you?" It was unbelievable, she always thought Millerna was confident enough to think she could make anyone fall for her. And she knew the knight was not oblivious to her charms.

"Why would I believe he does? By the time he was with me, he had a thing with you, too at the same time. And after Dryden appeared on the scene, he retreated altogether, remember?"

"Yes, but that could have been because he is also so strong of duty. It's very well possible that he loves you!"

"No… I…" Millerna hesitated, pressing her lips together, "...no. If he had loved me, I would have known that."

"Would you…?" Hitomi was always said to have the sixth sense, but she wouldn't be able to say that with certainty. Perhaps she was not experienced enough with love?

"Plus, there's that Marlene thing. If I had a coin for each time somebody says I looked like her, I could cure the poverty of Palas. But woe is me; I would have to find another way once I'm the queen. Anyway, the resemblance to my sister was perhaps the only thing drawing Allen to me."

 _No… now you are doing him injustice_ , Hitomi thought.

"But after Dryden left… didn't you try to get back with Allen?" she asked. It was hard to believe; she was so smitten with him. Even Hitomi felt like she could not compete at times.

Millerna sighed. "I am not going to lie to you. I did, but only because I had been pathetic. And if he had loved me… it could have become an entirely different story," she paused. "But I'm over it, now. I had to try it to know. It didn't work out… But that's a good thing for you, isn't it? Your chances have never been better, seeress."

"Please stop with that."

"Why? You still like him, don't you? Didn't you miss him at all? Or is there someone else in your world?" the princess inquired curiously.

Hitomi shook her head. "I was lonely, but… I don't know, Millerna. I never expected to ever return here. I cannot stay; my family and friends must be worried about me. If there is a chance, I'll go back. I cannot risk getting stuck here forever. And I don't want to deceive anyone."

"I see… so you are going to become the tragic heroine?"

They both chuckled. "You're the one to be talking. Your love life appears to be quite a disaster, princess."

"Well, a tragic heroine is still a heroine, right? Anyway, should I pity myself because of a disappointment or two? I don't think so. Actually, I have the biggest task before me; I am to be the sovereign of this country. And I don't want to give up medicine, either. See? I don't even have the time for foolish love stories. However…"

"However?" Hitomi pried.

"There is someone else. But it's a secret. You can never tell this to anyone," the princess looked into her eyes to reinstate that she meant it.

"Who could I tell this to?" she wondered out loud.

"I don't know, Allen? You seemed pretty close, despite what you're saying…"

"I would not tell him. And I am not a gossip, you know that."

"Alright." Millerna seemed quite amused at Hitomi's offended tone. "My father has been pressing my marriage again. And he found a suitable groom. The third prince of Egzardia."

"Oh my… I'm sorry to hear you are under so much pressure, Millerna."

"It's not just the pressure from my father," the princess said. "I am the heiress, remember? My father's days are getting shorter. And I will have to take over after. I need someone who can help me. Someone who can wage a war, because it looks like the end is nowhere in sight."

"That should not be the reason for marrying…"

"You have not seen him," Millerna smiled, but she thought it seemed a bit strained. "He is very handsome, the handsomest of the king's sons. And strong in battle. He won the martial arts tournament this year. I really have no real reason to complain about this match… He was pleasant enough when we talked."

"How many times have you… talked?"

"A few… at formal functions, mostly." _So, what did you talk about, the weather?_ Hitomi thought but didn't say out loud. It was ridiculous getting engaged to someone you barely knew. It was the same with Dryden; it just was not a recipe for a happy marriage, no way. But Millerna's situation was entirely different from a normal Earth girl's.

"I see. Do you think he would make you happy?"

"I think we could learn to love each other. Such is the way of the royal families. It was the same for my parents and for my older sister."

"I am not convinced it can always work…"

Millerna chuckled bitterly. "Then what would your advice be, Seeress?"

Hitomi caught herself. _Ah, there you go again. Why can't you stop butting into other people's matters, Kanzaki?_ "I have no business advising people anymore. But I think you should at least get to know him better. Take your time."

"I know. Except time is what I don't have. The Egzardians pressure Father into a wedding in the next two months. Or it is the prince's own wish, I could never know. But we are supposed to go riding tomorrow, so I hope to figure him out some more."

That sounded like a reasonable plan, alright.

"Can I talk to you when I get back? It feels good to confide in someone… Eries is bedridden and I do not want to bother her."

"Sure! You'll find me bickering with Merle." They both chuckled.

"She is quite energetic, isn't she?"

"Insufferably energetic", Hitomi said. "And just insufferable when it comes to me. I don't know what I ever did to her."

Millerna's eyes narrowed in amusement. "There is only one thing, or rather, one person she is passionate about, you know? She must be worried about him now. Maybe she is just jealous?"

Yeah, yeah… her nightly visit to Van's tent must not have recorded well in the catgirl's charts. "She has no reason to be, really," she hurried to say.

"But you came to Gaea with Van the first time around, if I remember correctly. Are you sure he is not involved in some way?"

"He pretty much denied that," Hitomi sighed. She really wished she could know the reason she was here. _Guess it would have been too easy._

Millerna translated her tone differently. "But you know better, don't you?" she smirked.

 _Ugh… here we go again._ "I don't. I told you, my powers are gone. And he seemed very sure he had nothing to do with it. Anyway, I had a near-death experience, maybe that was what triggered the light pillar."

"Then there may be something you still need to do here. Maybe it's your fate," the princess tapped her forearm with her gloved hand.

"I don't believe in fate, not since I saw it could be manipulated," Hitomi mumbled, almost to herself, as she recalled the catwoman, Naria, her loyalty to Folken, and the tragedy of the two sisters. She had even been able to manipulate fate herself, using her tarot cards… _no_... "Fate is not preordained."

"You think…?" the conversation trailed off as both of the girls seemed to contemplate their own questions of fate.

For Hitomi, one question stood out same as at the time she was praying at her grandma's house. _What do I believe in, then?_ Her young self would say _wishes_. But older Hitomi knew they were dangerous. Then, there were plenty of gods on Earth, more on Gaea. But to her, they were just the manifestations of things like faith and destiny. It was the concepts that mattered. Which is why she had added some courses on history and philosophy to her curriculum, even though it was not a requirement of her program. Maybe the dream of Gaea had a bigger influence on herself than she cared to admit.

She could also heed the advice from a long time ago and believe in the people around her. In her current situation, her recovered friends from this planet. A realization hit her; she already had very reluctantly made one such decision when she left Van to his own devices at the battlefield, hadn't she? But that was probably more of a result of her exasperation, rather than trust towards him. She was also hesitant to confide in Merle, whom she still considered too immature and well, too loyal elsewhere to fully reciprocate her trust.

Millerna was her best chance for a true friend here, she concluded. They shared their girl secrets as an icebreaker, which was not something she would call usual in her relationships. It normally took her more time to open about things like that. Something about the princess felt like Yukari, and Hitomi unconsciously began to trust her. Their only quarrel used to be Allen, really. And Millerna seemed to have closed the door on that chapter already.

Hitomi herself wasn't so sure how she felt about the knight. She was not oblivious to his charms, of course. But she was not as naïve as she used to be, either. She valued his friendship, so she did not want to distance herself. But if they were given more time, she realized, she would probably have to face her feelings for him, as he didn't seem totally indifferent about her either... as far as her instincts could say. _But then, he is a womanizer_ , she reminded herself, _so that interest may be something I share with other women_. She should focus on that, keep her calm and remain friendly with him.

Entangling herself too deeply in the relationships here was a bad idea, she knew. Because she may unexpectedly leave anytime, like the last time. And yet, somehow it seemed inevitable the longer she stayed, as if fate mocked her for disregarding it so easily.

The sky was cloudy today, making the garden vegetation seem duller somehow. A wind picked from the sea. It may break the clouds or bring another storm with it. There was no way of knowing.

And she did not know what was in store for her, either. It took the terrifying experience of prophetic visions to say that ignorance made her in fact feel calmer, even in the face of war.

* * *

 **Well, this is awkward... It's really been a hot minute (well, that sounds better than "a year"), but I hereby declare this _not_ abandoned. I won't make claims like I did last time again cause they just seem to bite me in the behind harder when I do. I was positive the chapter would work out in a few months I had before the hell broke loose as I expected. And by hell I mean finishing school and then moving countries again but that doesn't change the fact that the past year with its ups and downs has been one of the awesomest in my life. Anyway, we are back on track with this! I just kind of wish I could say that with a more eventful chapter. But well, had to get this one out of the way. Big thanks to my awesome beta, Lera, who did Lord's work on this again. Thanks also for the new follows and especially for the sweet reviews I got, even though I failed to reply (and it feels awkward to do so now), gomen! Hope this chapter won't be a disappointment to those who would still care after such a long time... Good news is that this is the last one that "builds the scene" and we are finally ready to move the plot forward.  
**

Chapter notes:

I found that I really enjoy writing interactions between the characters that barely spoke in the anime. Like Allen and Folken... a tad unexpected, wasn't it? We got a bit on Dilandau's fate there... I'll uncover more later, of course.

When Folken refers to himself as "Sorcerer", it's because I presume that he, at least at some point, held the position of a Zaibach _madoushi_. His robe and cape is the same as those guys responsible for Dilandau, and his experiment with the "fortune blood" especially seems to be of the same sort as that. So when he speaks of destroying lives of some children, he means especially the leopard twins. The _atropology_ he mentions is a term I coined for the "scientific discipline" they were practising, made of "Atropos" - Greek goddess of destiny and the traditional "logos" suffix.

Poor Allen's not having it easy right now. Unfortunately, we know how he copes with bad thoughts. Ladies, watch out. Jokes aside, I hope it's clear that he doesn't really blame or hate Van, on the other hand, this is not going to make their relationship easier. Ugh, why is that evil writer doing this.

Master Shaifa is a fun side character to write. With his knowledge and skills, he did a stellar career for himself as a foreigner on Asturian court! A slight inspiration for this aspect of his character was Rasputin. Shaifa is WAY less creepy and dark than that though haha.

I also wanted to give some girl-talk time to Hitomi and Millerna, something I feel could be fun now and also in the future, when the relationships unfold a bit more.

You guys were skeptical about Hitomi losing her powers... well, the characters seem to agree with you. Buuut we still have long ways to go...

 ** _I promise next chapter will have more developments of various kinds... Le gasp!_**

~Rin


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